I have one of those mini wooden baseball bats they used to give away at Wrigley before someone realized they might chuck it at a Met outfielder.
It's about 18" long, a small baton.
And my brain feels like somebody whacked my brain with it for 99 straight days.
Not enough to kill me, but enough to inflict some permanent damage.
Unlike the previous dustups between owners and players, I think the players did a pretty good job of shifting the view of themselves from spoiled young men playing a children's game for millions of dollars, to a larger group of people who've invested most of their lives in a short-ish career that can pay really well if you're elite.
And if you weren't elite - someone more like Patrick Wisdom or Frank the Tank - all those years you put in learning to play the game at your highest level while not really learning anything else, well... it was your choice but when it's all over you're certainly not on any rich list.
It's not a fair comp, but Andre Dawson is a freaking mortician.
I took the side of the players.
But that doesn't mean I actually paid attention to the miles of nothing happening until the end.
Now the only thing I know for sure is in 5 years this may happen all over again.
WHACK. WHACK. WHACK.
Well there are a couple things, actually.
The season starts on April 7.
Pitchers won't bat, unless your name is Shohei Ohtani.
12 teams in the playoffs.
Stuff to check tanking, stuff to stop teams from Kris Bryanting players (service time manipulation), stuff to keep teams from shuttling players back and forth to the minors, and some interesting stuff perhaps coming later.
There's a 45 day window for more rule changes to take effect next year like no shift (YES!), pitch clock (WHATEVER!), and... larger bases (WHAT?).
Nothing really that I"ve seen about robot umps but I can't imagine that not happening at some point sooner than later.
And finally, the Ricketts family might join a group trying to buy an English football (soccer) team, Chelsea FB, that's worth almost $4,000,000,000 (four billion dollars).
From a Russian oligarch.
WHACK. WHACK. WHACK.
Whatever, I guess now we do what we're supposed to.
What we've historically done - forget that little collective bargaining argument because right now players are on planes hauling ass to Spring Training.
Can you have a Pitchers and Catchers Report Day without all those guys actually being there yet?
I cancelled my MLBTV account, but shortly after they sent me a note:
Major League Baseball Advanced Media has extended your subscription. Your next renewal date is March 21."
Like that creepy bartender in The Shining.
"Your money's no good here, Mr. Torrance."
I get to drink for free!
Wait, don't I try to kill my family and die in a frozen maze?
Guess I'll see in 10 days.
In the meantime, prepare for Baseball Transaction Crazy Town Time.
I think the Cubs need a DH or something...