David Bote said that this game could only happen on April Fools Day, so...
Sometimes, you just gotta laugh.
Because something is just so unbelievable.
Like the beginning of this season...
Last night, when Anthony Rizzo muffed a grounder, picked up the ball between his legs and then, with a bent over-sideways pitch (like a qb pitching to a running back) to Kyle Hendricks, but yanked the ball waaaay up in the air so far up over Hendricks' head (he was manning 1st) that all Hendricks could do was shrug his shoulders as the ball bounced into the Braves' dugout and the runner McCann is awarded 2nd base.
I didn't need the slow motion replay because that play already happened in slow mo.
I was standing in the kitchen, my son was opening birthday gifts and the tv was on and I stood with my mouth open as, instead of gift-opening joy, I pointed at the tv and said, "Look."
To be honest with you, I've been in the worst mood ever since Yu Darvish couldn't throw a strike in game 2.
Like, unusually stupid-angry and yelling at everything for teeny reasons, even dead things like the back gate or my car keys.
So after Rizzo made the underhand rainbow and we all watched the replay, everyone was waiting for me to SCREAM CUBBY MURDER.
But instead, I made a strange sound that could have been taken as a sob, or the beginning of a laugh.
Even I didn't know.
But then, I laughed.
One time in high school, I was walking towards one of the prettiest girls in the whole school and as I got closer to her, and she was looking right at me, I unexpectedly sneezed and a huge rope of snot jelly, like a mucus-ey whip, shot out of my nose during the "CHOOO!" part.
When you sneeze, it's two parts. The "AHHH", then the "CHOOO".
And when you "AHHH", your head tilts slightly back, right?
Then you "CHOOO", and your head jerks down.
So on the "CHOO", my head jerks down with such force that it catches up to the mucus-ey whip and when it's all over it looks like a pale green translucent earth worm is stuck to my face, the pretty girl makes an expression of disgust, and surely I'm the subject of a story at the lunch table with all the pretty girls.
But later, when I tell my buddies, it's a laugh riot.
That's kind of what Game 4 of the 2019 Cubs season was like.
And you're tempted to say well, it sure can't get any worse.
But then you realize that in just a couple days, the Cubs will be playing the Brewers in Milwaukee.
So yeah, it can.
BUT, instead of jumping off a bridge... how about this?
We'll see Anthony Rizzo rainbow-toss a ball over the head of a pitcher covering first base after muffing an easy grounder probably on the same day zombie squirrels eat my feet off.
6 Cub errors won't happen for another 35 years.
The bats are doing well.
Is the pitching a concern?
But there is ALWAYS a concern and I could write a short novel on that right now but you already know it.
Right now, the Cubs have a giant rope of snot across their face.
They have a day to wipe it off.
I expect them to be better on Wednesday in Atlanta.
One game at a time, guys.
ps: Why Steve Martin? I don't know. He's a comedian, I guess.