He musta put on some weight, because that dude is skinny.
His stuff is soooooo good.
When he's "on".
He's the Cubs' answer to the Josh Haders and the Andrew Millers in the central.
Stuff that overwhelms batters and if they're lucky enough to make contact, it's weak.
Last year he had a late season forearm thing, but what was worse?
Sing it with me now:
The head bone's connected to the mechanic's bone, the mechanic's bone's connected to the strike zone.
It got to the point where... if I was watching and Edwards came in and threw a first pitch ball I'd scream GET HIM OUT OF THERE NOW!
He'd immediately lose confidence in where the ball was going.
Not the yips, but like if he missed that first pitch, he'd hit a patch of black ice.
Anyway, if you read here you know how much I love this guy - his background, his makeup, I even love the dancing in the bullpen.
And mostly I love when he mows down the 3-4-5 hitters on any team 1-2-3.
Remember when the Cubs lost that last game to the Rockies?
Like, the most painful definition of why winning in April is as important as winning in September, right?
Next year, the microscope on this team early in the season will be... "uncomfortable" is probably the word.
And Brandon Morrow's elbow won't be on the mound til May (if it all goes perfectly).
So the bullpen will be missing it's closer, and the guys that Joe trusts are going to be throwing more pitches right off the bat.
Because if Joe has a bad April, there could be more changes with the club than we care to think about.
He needs the wins.
And Carl Edwards Jr. is a huge part of that scenario.
Next, the Cubs Convention starts Friday night, and Joe Maddon already changed the narrative of what was about to be the "Cubs Harperfest" when he said simply that Harper was, "Not gonna happen."
If you've ever been to or seen video of the convention, you know that any more even 8 year olds ask super pointed, uncomfortable-for-management questions, and Harper was going to be the noun in each of them.
I'm sure there will still be plenty of Harper chatter, but at least the askers already know he's not coming.
It'll be nice to just concentrate on the actual Cubs rather than some people's idea of the Cubs.
And I'm thrilled that the Harper thing is in the rear view.
I've been on production for a... while.
And while I was gone, my wife: took my car to the emissions testing place, hung new smoke detectors, organized a company of plaster-fixer guys to come fix all our cracks and then paint the house, took care of our ancient dog and our daughter's cat, got the flu, and shoveled snow.
Among other things.
She's literally been taking care of our lives while in the house.
If she were more of a Cub fan, then asking if she wanted to go to the Convention with me would be SUCH a good idea.
But since she's not, how does this sound coming from me: "Darling, I know you've been doing so much while being stuck in the house, but do you mind if I spend the weekend at the Cubs Convention?"
In the words of Joe Maddon, "Not gonna happen."
Plus, it's supposed to snow in a more traditionally Chicago style this weekend.
So, sorry I won't be illustrating guys walking around in public wearing Cubs pajamas or comparing my thighs to Tim Stoddard's calves.
I really would like to hear Saturday's Come to Jesus with Theo, Jed, Jason and Joe.
There really is nothing better than an 8 year old asking Joe a tough question.
But... not gonna happen.
"26 days til pitchers and catchers report," said the smiley face emoji.