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February 08, 2010



Boy...haven't we ALL been exposed to these, Hmmmm...well there's no other name for them but ASS-IOPATHS


I've come to realize that for many folks (ASSHOLES), slipping into a temporary sociopathetic personality provides a great momentary payoff at very little expense.

Very little expense that is, so long as you genuinely do not care if some stranger thinks you are an ASSHOLE!

Cutting into lines may be the most common form of ASS-IOPATHETIC behavior. But there are others I've observed, to wit:

- At Wrigley Field: Blocking someone's view by standing up to stretch / call a beer vendor / talk to your buddy behind you / get your picture taken, etc., etc. Usually done at some crucial point in the game you're not interested in because you're not really a fan and someone gave you the tickets.

At any decent restaurant: Scream-talking / hyena-laughing to someone next to you at your table so as to demonstrate that you are a cool guy who has no inhibitions and to hell with anyone else who can't hear themselves think. Ditto for pompous public cell-phone users (Aren't I important?!!)

At church: bringing a spoiled, misbehaving, affected devil-child to a place that's supposed to be reserved for solemn worship and quiet reflection. The goal is usually to show the world that you are a wonderful, serene person because baby beelzebub's undisciplined behavior doesn't bother you at all. (And to hell with you if it bothers YOU!)

On the highway: God...where to begin? Our roads are possibly the main venue for "me-firsters". I've driven in places where the use of a turn-signal to change lanes is taken as an invitation to "close-the-gap", risking an accident in an effort to prove total superiority and domination of another less-skilled, inferior drivers. After all, do Jimmie Johnson or Jeff Gordon make a hole for an opponent who needs some space? Shove 'em into the wall!!!

I could go on and on (and so could the rest of you here, I bet). But the point that Tim made is that the key to pulling off an ASS-IOPATHIC move requires the ability to act totally innocent and unaware of what someone is upset about when you're challenged.

If you're complaining, it must be YOU who's demonstrating uncivil behavior!

(If you hadn't guessed, I complain.)


Anybody that cannot respect the CDA should be quartered by shopping carts and disposed of in the freezer section, whether they are an old hag or a young hag.


Yep, that was me, at the store, last minute.

I always try to be "nice" but its people like her that make my evil side come out.

Tim@Cubby Blue

I think that may work it's way into a conversation or two, Bud.
That woulda been pretty funny to call the Old Hag right then in line.

Tim@Cubby Blue

CFIM! Howdy there. I like the quick dispatching of punishment here. Please talk to my alderman asap.

Tim@Cubby Blue

Hi Maria,
I'm the nicest guy in the world.
But if this lady woulda slipped on a banana peel in front of me and bled alot out of her head, I probably wouldn't have minded...

The comments to this entry are closed.


  • is an art blog following the Chicago Cubs with cartoons, gifs, animations, and illustrations by me, Tim Souers. I began the illustrations in 2003 - you can find the links to the 2003 - 2006 seasons below. 2007 - present is in the regular archives. Feel free to contact me at CubbyDashBlue(at)gmail(dot)com. Thanks for visiting, and go Cubs.

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