The First Time I Set Foot On Wrigley Field: "The Babe"
This is a true story, but I'm changing the name of "Scott Andrews" 'cause I lost touch with the guy and can't ask permission to use his name.
Also, some bad language in here, so be warned.
Remember that movie "The Babe" - the one starring John Goodman as Babe Ruth?
There was this guy, Scott Andrews, who used to hang out at Jake's Pub and we were kinda bar-friends there, and also he was in the film biz.
He was a location scout mostly for commercial productions, but he got attached to this big-time "The Babe" movie, part of which was being filmed at Wrigley Field.
He invited me to stop by on my way to work.
Now, it's been long enough that I don't remember the exact details, but I remember it was summer, the Cubs were out of town, and I was riding my bike to work that day.
I locked it up in front, and you could see hundreds of people dressed in clothing from Babe Ruth's time.
3 piece suits with derby's, fluffy dresses and hats and parasols.
I went up to this woman at a table who seemed to be in charge and told her I was a guest of Scott's.
She told me he was out on the field and pointed to where I should walk down.
She didn't say it was a tunnel to the dugout.
The one real players use.
She had no idea how FREAKING FREAKED OUT I FREAKING WAS TO BE FREAKING WALKING DOWN A TUNNEL TO THE ACTUAL FREAKING WRIGLEY FREAKING FIELD.
I was kinda floating down, marveling at the walls and thinking about Cub history.
Suddenly a guy comes running towards me, clearly agitated.
He points back down the tunnel and yells.
"DID YOU JUST TAKE A SHIT DOWN THERE?"
It was such a weird thing to say considering my almost religious state of mind.
"No. I..." and that's all I got out - he just ran by.
Then I started to smell something sort of awful, and right down at the bottom of the tunnel was this little room on the right. I don't think there was a door, but there was a toilet and someone had obviously done the deed I'd just been accused of.
But looking past that was... why there's the dugout.
It was the visitor's dugout, but still.
And just beyond that was the actual diya-mond.
I walked out onto Wrigley Field.
Where Ryno and Shawn Dunston and Mark Grace and Rick Sutcliffe played.
(Well, it was also where Hector Villanueva, Steve Wilson, and Gary Scott played but... don't wanna wreck the mood.)
So the sun was just coming up over the right field wall, and I am telling you it was gorgeous and I was on. the. field.
Sure enough, there's Scott standing in short center waving me over, but looking kinda concerned.
"This is so COOL!" I said.
Still with the look of concern he says, "Hey, just a minute" and he holds up the walkie talkie so I can listen to a voice saying, "Somebody took a damn SHIT in the prop tiolet! Hamm, take care of it."
Now Scott is kinda laughing as he explains: "They're gonna shoot a scene where The Babe (John Goodman) is REAL hungover, and he's supposed to lurch out of the dugout and go puke in the toilet, but it's a fake toilet and somebody took a shit in it."
Now I hear a voice on the walkie that must be Hamm.
"Flynn, get to the prop toilet and clean up that shit." he says.
"Ahh shit!" says Flynn, "Morgan, can you handle this shit problem?"
A couple more seconds, it's Morgan: "Johnson, get somebody to clean up that shit."
Now it's Johnson's turn.
"Scott, somebody's gotta clean up that shit."
Without missing a beat, Scott goes, "Roger that. Montagano, you heard about the shit problem, clean it up please."
And on down the line it went, until finally somebody actually had to clean it up.
Shit rolls downhill even at Wrigley Field.
Scott took me around the outfield, but it was obvious he was pretty busy.
I walked back through the stinky tunnel, got on my bike and went to work.
Later, people kinda didn't believe I'd actually been walking around on the grounds of Wrigley Field.
They all said, "No SHIT?!"
Posted on November 29, 2008 at 07:56 AM |Permalink
baseball, chicago cubs, illustration, sports, wrigley field
is an art blog following the Chicago Cubs with cartoons, gifs, animations, and illustrations by me, Tim Souers.
I began the illustrations in 2003 - you can find the links to the 2003 - 2006 seasons below.
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