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Cj06009

Cj06009

WARNING: THIS CAPTION CONTAINS BAD LANGUAGE
Well, I'm writing this caption in 2007, so I know the end of this story.
But I missed seeing the play live, didn't know about it til the next morning.
Next morning, there was still nothing conclusive.
I figured he's out for a couple weeks maybe.
When I went to the dentist, here's what happened:
I'm a giant sissy in the Chair, and I demand as much novacaine as insurance will pay for.
My dentist, Larry Bonanno, is truly a great guy and friend since I moved to Chicago in the early 80's, and he knows me.
So I leave there with my entire head numb.
I was parked facing South on Lincoln just a couple blocks North of Fullerton.
When I went in, there seemed to be no traffic.
When I came out, it was a nightmare - some construction going on towards Fullerton.
I put the top down and waited for one of the cars to let me in.
They're all going two mph, then stopping, then two...
Finally, this woman appeared to stop, but in reality she just hadn't seen me, so she hauled ass to move 3 feet to block me in.
Angrily, I lurched a foot out.
Well, there's a bike path there.
The second I moved, a guy on a bike comes FLYING PAST, stops ahead.
"You STUPID ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKER!" the guy yells, then speeds off.
Wow, I really was stupid.
Just then, the traffic moves, and a guy stops to let me in, and I quickly decide to do a U-turn instead of getting in this mess.
So I venture into the lane and HOOOOOONNNNKKKK!
A guy is flying North and slams on his breaks while I do the same.
"MOTherFUCKing ASSHOLE!" the guy yells as he goes around me.
Man, I am having a bad day.
I complete my U-turn and start heading North.
I get about 4 cars up the road and a guy stopped in the Southbound traffic yells as I go by.
"PRICK MOTHERFUCKER," he screams, "THERES' NO U-TURN HERE!"
That's IT!
I stop window to window and at the top of my lungs I let out: "FAAA EEWW MOW AH AH!"
Forgot about the novacaine there.
Plus my top was down so I was on display for everyone around.
That, my friend, is a bad day.
And it only got worse.


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