I've never been this jet-lagged.
I was so stupid, I thought I'd left for the home opener with plenty of time, but I actually got to our seats like, the 4th or 5th inning or something.
I really don't remember.
I remember meeting Bob's wife Marcia and that I thought she was funny, I remember the Cubs were getting smoked, I remember people were really yelling rude things at Greg Maddux, but mostly I remember that I was as cold as I'd ever been in my life.
I think we stayed for maybe an inning after I got there, and then I had to scram.
One of the true bonuses of opening day is the free fridge-magnet schedule.
It was with one of these schedules that I first discovered I needed glasses, so I have a personal relationship with them.
When I looked up close, I couldn't read the schedule.
When I backed away, I could.
I went to the eye doctor and he confirmed that I needed glasses.
I said, "So what do I tell my wife? Am I nearsighted or farsighted or what?"
He deadpans, "You tell your wife you're just getting old."
Anyway, I even forgot to get that.
What a dope.