Last weekend I'm out back yelling at all the green tomatoes to hurry up and turn red.
Like "Free Bird" on the radio, a frost can come at any time and ruin everything.
Suddenly from a window comes the voice of my wife.
This is our conversation:
SHE: Honey good GOD that shirt is hideous.
ME: Wait what? No. It isn't, what are you talking about?
SHE: There are holes all over it.
SHE: Stop it.
SHE: Nice try. Come in the house now and take that shirt off.
ME: Soon as I'm done with the tomatoes. Have you noticed how most of 'em are still green? Just look at them!
ME: What are you gonna do with it?
SHE: It's a rag, honey. Jesus.
ME: NO! It's good luck.
ME: The kids gave this shirt to me for Father's Day in 2005.
She opened the screen door and leaned against it with her arms folded across her chest.
Good bye old Cubs t-shirt.