I've been in Chicago a long, long time.
But I can still remember the first insane cab ride I got, coming to town from O'Hare.
Guy was just in a hurry.
Really really crazy fast driving not necessarily in any lane or even the road, and to keep from throwing up I kept my eyes open and just... pretended it was a movie.
It's a really good technique when things are bad and not in your control.
Like right now, during the summer of 2014.
Hey, the Cubs give up 9 runs in one inning to the San Diego Padres?
Pass the freaking popcorn, dude.
We're way deep into the last couple minutes of of a horror movie that started over a hundred years ago.
All the ghosts and vampires and that limping guy with the bloody mask carrying your mom's biggest knife are all about to die.
Then it'll be intermission.
Go on out to the lobby and get some 7 Up.
When we come back, there'll be another movie with new stars in it.
It'll be in color on the biggest screen in Wrigleyville.
And most importantly, the good guys will win.
I have to apologize to the Akron Empire for photoshopping a photo I did not ask permission to photoshop.