Mike Olt's first Homer In The Bigs went up up up on a day when balls were apparently carrying.
Certainly Len didn't think much of Olt's contact, and obviously neither did this Pirate Fan.
Then, it came down, and we all know what kind of danger that means: watch the guy who totally gigs out when the ball almost comes down on top of him. About 40 seconds in is where the homer happens.
Oh god why does that make me laugh so hard?
If you were near him, was he silent, or did he let out some kind of grunting noise, or even a scream.
Look at his arm come up, like he's warding off an evil special effect from a bad Keanu Reeves movie.
I swear I'm CRYING!
Okay, it's not as funny as this one, and I know I've put this up before but this video absolutely paralyzes me.
The setup with the snake, you can tell the guy's terrified, and then the sneak attack by the lizard.
I have tears.
I've admitted this before, but long ago in the right field bleachers, I totally ducked out of the way of a Leon Durham homer.
Spilled beer, loss of manhood, hat askew, the whole nine yards.
There was a swing and the ball came straight at me, and then I heard the crack of the bat.
A comet line drive - no way to guage it because it didn't go up.
It went about 10 feet over my cowardly head, and I was so relieved.
Anyway, on April 3rd, 2014, exactly 3 games into his Big League career as the Cubs new third baseman, Michael George Olt hit one out.
Nothing that happens this season could make me happier than Olt being a success.
And the Cubs pulled out their first victory against the Pittsburgh Pirates, the guys from last year's playoff team, and in their park.
This wasn't really a bad way to start the season, all things considered.
And today, traffic was already moving like a salted snail at 7am, ruined by fog and rain.
It must be Opening Day.