Well, I have to admit something.
I'll be damned if I can think of anything to do for this blog that is even remotely about the the Cubs.
I mean... Sam Fuld is now an Oakland Athletic.
That's something - what does Billy Beane see in our former fearless backup center fielder?
Ummmm... it's the hundred year anniversary of Wrigley Field!
Why Cubs marketing would decide this is a good thing to shout-out is beyond me.
Of course we all know the team hasn't won since 1908, but pointing out that there has never been a championship in your hundred year old park...well you've just doubled my depression.
So forget that, too.
Hey THEY SIGNED DARWIN BARNEY!
It's just a shame that the revolting bat negates the awesome glove and sure he can play in the majors but I'm just tired of that kind of Cub.
So uh... anyway, there are these 3 sinks in the bathroom at work.
People splash around when they wash their hands and this runaway puddle can form on the counter that you just never notice until it's too late.
You walk up to the sink, then lean over to get a squirt of soap, and you're already hosed.
That stain will pretty much be right "down there".
The embarrassing wet spot of shame and all you were trying to do was wash your hands.
There's nothing to be done for it except haul ass to your office and pray you don't run into anyone.
And that's the predicament I found myself in just the other day.
Here's the route:
I have to turn right out of the men's into a large hall with a coffeeroom door on the left and another mystery door on the right. The hall ends in a big opening with cubes and paths to the left and right, but I want to go straight past the cubes on the left where Dee and Kristin sit and cubes on the right with Nick and Chris, where I'll have to take the path to the right, which is in front of this large common room with big windows and a tv, and then down there on the left is my office.
So like I said, I'm hauling.
And out the coffee room doorway comes Laura the project manager so I turn sideways and look at the plaque on the wall and she doesn't notice so it's all cool.
Now I'm in the big middle and Nick, Dee, Kristin and Chris are all busy and can't see over their cube wall anyway. Then...no one is in the window/tv room so I turn right towards my office, and coming down the hall is Warren, who's a Brit and has been giving me a hard time ever since I... well ever since this happened:
Earlier this winter, I put on my boots which I think are kinda cool so I tuck my pants in them like you would if you lived in Alaska.
I drive to work, walk in the office and run into Warren who says, "Had to walk through piles of snow to get to work, did you?"
I say, "No, just through the back yard to the garage. I drove in."
"What's all this, then?" he says and points at my tucked in pants.
He smirks Britishly.
There is no denying that pretty much anyone with a British accent is automatically cooler than me.
I walk into my office, quickly untuck the pants before anyone else sees.
Haven't done it since.
So anyway, there's Warren walking towards me and I KNOW he'll be loud about the wet spot if he notices so I make a GIANT deal about pointing to my boots coming out of my obviously untucked pants.
Seriously. Like this dumb: "LOOK DOWN THERE! See how I don't tuck in the pants any more? HAHAHA..." He never notices the stain and I make it to the office.
So, I lucked out.
If I ever tell this story again, it'll be because the person who busts me is new Chief Creative Officer or someone who looks like Scarlett Johansson.
Hopefully that won't happen.
Okay, maybe something more about the Cubs sometime soon.
Pitchers/catchers report in a week!