This post was originally put up in 2008, but I don't think it'll ever not be relevant during any February in Chicago, and it's maybe the best advice I can give anyone who lives around here...
Are you sick of winter and miss baseball?
Go to the grocery, buy their fattest ribeye.
Put on your boots and instead of that stupid knit thing, put on your Cubs hat.
Yeah, it's still there hanging in your closet.
Feels pretty good, right?
Now walk into your back yard or back porch or whatever, and fire up your grill.
Back in the kitchen, throw Lawry's lemon pepper+garlic salt+dried rosemary all over your steak.
Press it in with the heel of your hand.
Feel the beef.
Dash on some Lea and Perrin's.
Take a martini glass and fill it with crushed ice and water.
Fill your shaker up with ice as well, and use good gin.
Shake it violently, counting 30 shakes.
Use two slices of a pairing knife to cut a little "v" canal of lemon peel.
Throw out the ice water and pour in the martini.
Rub the white of the lemon peel around the edge of the glass, twist it over the top, throw it in.
Drag that and your steak out to the grill.
Hey...it's actually nice out here, isn't it?
Really cold gin is really good in really cold weather.
Throw on your steak and...
Now is the time.
Right when you can smell the sizzling beef.
Look up to the sky and...flip...it...off.
There's still lots of Winter to come, so I'd recommend repeating as necessary.
This little ritual never fails, and it's even more satisfying if there's actual snow coming down.
Then, you've got an actual functional reason to sport your Cubs hat.
One more thing.
The guy who tweets for MLB Memes?
That guy has 127K followers.
And that guy came to my blog, took some art from my Thanksgiving post, stuck some type on it and tweeted this:
I guess I should be flattered.
But wouldn't it have been nice if that guy had directed people here?
I guess when I photoshopped that Cubs logo on that sail, I stole from whoever made that original print a thousand years ago.
So maybe it's karma.
Anyway, balls to Winter:
Grill a steak.
Drink a martini.
Baseball is coming soon.