When writing a post this unoriginal and lacking in any actual baseball insight, one must leave no stone not turned over.
It is exactly the same for the teams in game 6 of the 2013 World Series, where the Cardinals and the Red Sox know it's do or die time - a time to man.. up in someone's grill because you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink the Kool Aid.
I've been burning the both-ended candle for the last week, and that means spending "quality" sports-talk-radio-listening-time in the car while driving to meetings.
(Pretend you saw me holding my hands up and making imaginary quote marks when I said "quality".)
Here's what I've mostly heard about tonight's game: you'd better empty the gun.
Like if you're the Red Sox, that means you'd better use guys you ordinarily would think would be too good or maybe too hurt to use in a certain situation if it was just a regular season game.
Like if Shane Victorino's back is still stiff but Johnny Gomes already spent all his magic on his amazing homer the other night, well old Shane better say, "Don't hold back, back."
And if you're the Cardinals, well lets just say it's not a horse that is colored differently, my friend.
Because they're not supposed to leave any bullets inside the gun, either.
If that new Michael Wachawacha (LMAFO!) kid gives up a couple runs early?
You fired that bullet, so it's time to reload.
Look over there on that bench or in the bullpen and start pulling out other bullets who perhaps already left it all on the field of dreams a couple days ago but now there is no tomorrow so don't bar any holds!
I heard the Cardinals had a little 7 hour delay at the airport, which is really bad voodoo in the cliché world because I always hear people say, "Lets land this plane."
Like if you were at the grocery with your wife and you were standing in front of all those boxes of $1.12 pasta, and your wife goes, "Do you think we should have linguine or spaghetti with white clam sauce?" And you go, "Well, I've had it both ways and while the linguine's flatness helps the sauce stick, I kind of like the spaghetti better." To which she replies, "Angel hair is out of the question, right?" And you say, "Yeah too delicate." And then she goes, "Maybe it should be marinara sauce." And then the guy who's also trying to buy some pasta but has been stuck behind you says, "Lets' land this plane, people!"
I actually say that once in awhile, and when I heard of the Cardinals' delay, I thought they're so going to lose tonight.
The Series won't win itself.
Even with Kid W on the mound.
We all know he's going to feel the heat. And if you can't stand the heat, get out of it!
The Red Sox are thinking that if you ain't lead dog, the scenery never changes.
Probably that one came from Alaska.
One sled dog says to the other, "Hey man, all I ever see is your ass. I sure wish I was lead dog."
Which brings me back to the Cubs, but that would mean a much longer post.
How's about I just say, the painting above is the cliché I've heard all. week. long.
Surely you guessed it by now.