He's like the Rodney Dangerfield on a whole team of them.
He's the guy who gets designated for assignment and optioned to make room and traded for cash considerations.
A baseball nomad.
There's no way he's even remotely in the picture of the 2015 Cubs.
But right now may be the shining moments of Luis Valbuena's career.
If you look at OPS today, on April 26th, 2013, Luis Valbuena is ranked 33rd in the NL.
That's 3 behind Matt Holliday.
One in front of Buster Posey.
Thirty one in front of Anthony Rizzo.
And last night he hit the dramatic, game winning homer agianst the Miami Marlins in the top of the 9th with 2 out.
When I was little I didn't swear or cuss, but I promise you that the first time I heard someone say "Never look a gift horse in the mouth," I totally thought "what the fuck are you talkin' about?"
It is truly that weird of a saying.
You can judge a horse's age by the length of it's teeth, apparently.
And if someone gives you a horse and you look at it's teeth, that means you're trying to judge the worth of the horse.
And if the guy who gave you the horse is standing right there, well, that's just rude.
So I'm going to try and not think about Luis Valbuena as anything but a gift horse.
The Toronto Blue Jays gave him to us.
And Luis, please feel free to hit game winning homers all year, because I just have the feeling that they'll be mighty... uh... not alot of them.
And speaking of careers, this may be the quote that defines the career of Carlos Marmol...
Marmol came in at the end of this game with a one run lead.
Walked a guy.
Gave up a single.
Juan Pierre tries to bunt but Wellington Castillo gets the guy at third so there's still guys on 1st and 2nd with only one out.
Then Marmol gets a guy to fly out, and finally it ends with a strike out.
After the game Dale Sveum is being asked if Marmol has regained his closer role and Sveum says uh uh.
Instead he says, "He pitches great when he doesn't know he's the closer."
Lordy lord lord, that is one very, very funny line.
Lastly, and I haven't read anything about him, but I am SO EXCITED the Bears drafted an O lineman in the first round, and may this one prove to be...how can I say this? If Kyle Long turns out to be a legit starter, I will defend Phil Emery forever.
Lastly lastly lastly, I apologize if anyone was offended by my unexpected F Bomb.