I AM SUPER POPULAR!
Yes, it's true.
Probably somebody really cool and popular will write a song about my popularity some day.
Singing or talking about my popularity will be the popular thing to do.
And right now it's REALLY cool to come by my office and share in my massive popularity.
Of course, this is just another way of saying I have chocolate.
Which I do.
In that big blue bowl.
I really do have a big blue bowl - an old cracked crock my mom got a million years ago at a garage sale.
And especially on Valentine's Day, I make sure it has chocolate in it to assure my popularity.
You know who would be the most popular guy in Chicago if only he hit just a tad better in every category?
There have been some articles lately about how he's gonna get better at the plate.
You know, to go along with his golden glove, the best in the NL.
Seriously, think about how popular he could be.
He'll never be a home run guy, but if only... he could find a way to get on base more.
Last year he walked about once every 5 games - 33 times.
If he could find the discipline to walk once every 3 games, he'd be up there with Hanley Ramirez and Andres Torres.
Hanley Ramirez made 15 million dollars last year, Torres almost 3 mil.
Neither of those guys can approach Barney's 4.7 WAR.
Barney made 1/2 million.
Well, bases on balls... far too simple a thing to guage by here and it ain't fair to compare to Ramirez, I'm just sayin'.
With Barney, chicks might dig the walk.
Or, you know, there's always chocolate.
Happy Valentine's Day and...
I get an email from Twitter whenever I get new followers.
Probably I get one of those about every 6 months or so, because of my massive popularity.
But I got one last night.
So I opened it.
Guess who's following Cubby Blue?
GET OUTTA HERE!
RYAN DEMPSTER IS FOLLOWING ME?
THAT IS SO COOL!!!
Oh, wait...what's that say at the bottom there?
"This account is not affiliated with Ryan Dempster"?
For a second there, I thought I really WAS popular...