How long have Cub Fans waited for a World Series?
As you're well aware, the painful answer is since about the time America was settled.
Yes, many people don't realize that some of America's earliest settlers were actually big Cub fans.
You all know about the famous Pilgrim Cub Fan explorers Louis and Clark and their famous expedition where they discovered soon-to-be-famous Wrigley Field.
Interestingly, the ballpark was located on already-discovered Addison Street. But walking around the corner, the duo discovered another street running north/south. And as the story goes, they flipped a Falstaff beer bottle top to see which explorer the street would be named after.
Of course the winner was William "Clark".
In 1908, about the time Colorado joined the Union, the Cubs won the World Series.
Pilgrim Cub Fans were so elated and Illinois turkeys so aplenty, they decided to invent a holiday.
Originally called "Thank You Cubs For Giving Us A Championship", it was later shortened to simply "Thanksgiving".
Pilgrim Cub Fans hunted turkeys down, wrung their turkey necks, grilled them indirectly over a smoky fire until they were done just so, and thus began the long feasting tradition.
Pictured below is believed to be Geovany Durocher, Leo's great grandfather, at one of the early Thanksgiving Feasts.
As you would expect, there were many women Pilgrim Cub Fans showing their true colors back in the day.
Many current Wrigley Field traditions were actually the contributions of Pilgrim Cub Fans.
So as we sit round the Thanksgiving Table, let's give a word of thanks and admiration to the Pilgrim Cub Fans, inventors of Thanksgiving, and the last people to actually experience the Cubs winning a World Series.
This article was the contribution of guest author and noted historian Cornelius Goat, and has not been fact-checked. - Tim
I did this post years ago for Thanksgiving, modify it and put it up (with apologies to any famous artist I may have offended) every Thanksgiving because it cracks me up.