The story you are about to read is true.
The photograph above is merely a re-creation of the elements...
Last summer, for no reason whatsoever, I borrowed our neighbor's kid's sidewalk chalk and drew a Cubs logo.
On the sidewalk.
In the shade of this big tree in our front yard.
I'd just finished my little piece of art, and was about to stand up to admire the work when whistling past my ear came a small squishy projectile that landed a bit right of center.
I looked up.
There was a cardinal in the tree, and the little bastard had just taken a dump on my drawing.
Awhile back, I think I told you that the attitude of your basic Cardinal Fan any more is sort of like... the Cubs are a cute little pet.
A source of amusement.
And while I was visiting their ballpark, there was literally nothing to be done for it.
The frickin' bird crapped on my drawing again and again, and I didn't even have a BB gun.
So even though in the grand scheme of things it means absolutely nothing (except perhaps a bump or fall in the standings in the Card's quest to catch the Pirates and Reds), CAN YOU CUBS PLEASE BE RESPECTABLE AGAINST WHAT USED TO BE YOUR MOST SIGNIFICANT RIVAL?
MAYBE DURING THE COURSE OF THE ENTIRE WEEKEND YOU CAN FIND IT IN YOURSELVES TO SCORE MORE THAN ONE RUN? SO THAT ON MONDAY I DON'T ATTEMPT TO TRY MY 3RD GRADE MATH SKILLS AND ADD THE RUNS THE CARDINALS SCORE AND DISCOVER THEY CROSSED THE PLATE 22 MORE TIMES THAN YOU DID?
Now, Ryan Dempster.
I did that last post just thinking I was making a funny and that he'd be traded by the end of the day, but man.
I've read some astonishing stuff where people feel that he may have misled the Cubs in talks leading up to this point in the trading season.
Like, really really angry.
In reality, nobody knows what Theo Epstein and Dempster talked about.
What we do know is that Dempster has earned the right to refuse a trade.
And of all the people... Dempster has been nothing but a stand up guy on crap teams who never once pointed a finger at anybody but himself even when it was clearly another part of the team that broke down and caused a loss.
His biggest failure came in the '08 playoffs.
Totally screwed the pooch.
And Ted Lilly never even threw a pitch.
Maybe Demp just wanted to go fix that, only with the Dodgers.
I DON'T KNOW.
But I'm not gonna be angry at him now or ever.
Finally, I lied.
About the bird up at the top.
I mean maaaaybe it was a cardinal - I have no idea.
Never saw it.
But what kind of a story would that be?