Cubby-Blue

I intend to bother Theo Epstein until the Cubs bring up Anthony Rizzo

I know.
I forgot that Lassie was a collie.
Forgive me.
Anyway, this is a sort of kind-spirited note to Theo Epstein to just...give us a little bit of Cub pleasure and bring up Anthony Rizzo now.
I saw a tweet from The Cub Reporter last night that said this:

Kinda depressing.

Then there was this a couple minutes later:

Then Jeff Samardzija seemed to run out of gas in Arizona, and the Diamondbacks hit three singles in a row going up 3-1 in the 5th.
Then a guy named Jeff Ziegler tossed his second inning for AZ with a crazy sidearm delivery and all kindsa goofy movement on his pitches, the velocity of which would have been legal on any highway in the country, and went through Soto, Barney and Mather in about a minute.
And before you knew it everybody was going home and the DBacks won 6 to 1.

Not fair.
Gimme something, Theo.
Gimme Anthony Rizzo.
I understand about Randy Wells.
I understand I may not see Ryan Dempster in a Cub uni again, and Randy may be Ryan for the duration of this season.
But you can take somebody off this roster and put in Rizzo.
You're creative that way.
Make it happen.

And all you guys reading this, I'll entertain any thoughts you've got for similar posts to send this message to Theo.
Pick a movie scene or a book title or anything in current events or anything at all and I'll try to draw it, just no one is allowed to have hurt feelings if I don't get to it.

 

 

Hit by a broken bat. Are Casey Coleman and Tyler Colvin some kind of weird twins? (gif)

That didn't look too good.
Right at the end of an inning, Casey Coleman gets hit in the hand by a broken bat.
Worse because they immediately cut to a commercial and you were left hanging.
Is Coleman okay?
What just happened?
So while I'm watching the commercial, I flash back to the horror of Tyler Colvin getting impaled by a the shattered maple bat.
Later they said Coleman was fine.
But...come ON, man, it's weirder than that.
They both get hit by the broken bats...
Both player's last names begin with "C - O - L"...
Both player's are ex-Cubs (well not technically but I'm pretty sure Coleman's not long for the North Side of Chicago).
Just...maybe Bud Selig should open an investigation or something.
Weird.

Okay whatever, the Cub bats dialed back down to zeero last night and they failed to pay the Sox back for their sweep in Wrigley earlier this year.
Woulda been fabulous, but...too much to hope for in 2012.
Sox 7 Cubs nothin'.

Now they get an off day to contemplate the hit by a broken bat twins thing, and then it's Jeff Samardzija vs. Joe Saunders and the 8 games behind the Dodgers Arizona Diamondbacks.

 

Cubs 2 White Sox 1. Bob Brenly is his own straight man.

When Carlos Marmol came in with a one run lead in the bottom of the 9th vs. the White Sox last night, I watched one batter and heard Bob Brenly drop this gem: "Marmol comes in with a slider up in the zone that drops over the plate possibly by design."
The italics are mine.
He didn't do any embellishment in his delivery - just said it like he was talking about the weather, and I fell off the couch laughing.
Then I turned off the tube because I've been conditioned by Marmol to expect disaster.
So it was fabulous to open the paper on the porch this morning and find out that the Cubs won.
Man, Jake Peavy was mad!
And I am happy!

With the brilliant idea of moving DeJesus to center and LaHair to right and all of us drooling over the possible arrival of Anthony Rizzo to man 1st base, things are looking up as much as they can.

Now, Roger Clemens.
I'm going to eat a little crow after all my venemous posts accusing Mr. Clemens of taking performance enhancing drugs.
I had a really interesting experience as the trial went on, and that was getting to know one of the people on his legal team.
To be very clear, nothing was ever discussed that could be considered confidential.
I was simply asked to keep an open mind, which honestly I hadn't.
I just am not a fan of Roger, and that's from his playing days.
Anyway, I was also recently on a jury - mighta mentioned it here before.
But to get a roomful of people to agree on anything at all is damn near impossible.
I could not believe the people in my deliberation room - literally half of them just wanted to leave and had made up their minds in about 5 minutes what they wanted to do, which was go half way.
One guy was kinda wrong and so was the other, so lets just (it was a civil case) award a half-way amount of money, they all said.
But in reality, one guy wasn't kinda wrong.
So, I couldn't believe I did it, but I got really vocal and got the fence sitters off their ass and made them pay attention and in the end we had a unanimous decision that wasn't half assed.
That was my one experience, but I have to think it happens quite frequently.
So...think about the Clemens' jury.
How easy and expected would it have been to go half way and say well, both guys are wrong so lets say Clemens is guilty on a couple minor things and go have lunch?
That didn't happen.
He wasn't proven guilty of anything.
We can all believe whatever we want about what really happened, but I've got to go with what happened in court.
Was Roger a boob and did he sort of bring this whole thing on himself?
I'd say so.
Did he choose to hang out with one of the creepiest humans on earth?
Yep.
But I'm over it, and I hope no sports guy ever says anything to make the government come after them like this again, because the government will.

Okay, lets see what happens tonight when Randy Wells drags his sorry ass up on the mound and tries for a sweep of the White Sox.
Randy, even though life handed you a steaming pile, you really gotta man up and let your actions speak.
Go Cubs.

 

 

Dempster to the DL. Can it get any worse?

 

So I'm sitting there, working.
You know, I'm aware every minute of every day that the Cubs are in the process of...evolving.
Sure, it's a blotchy, warty caterpillar with rotting fur right now, but when this is done it'll be a beautiful badass butterfly with a big freaking bat.
Or something.
And one of the first things we're all expecting to happen is for Ryan Dempster to get traded to someone who will give the Cubs vast riches that will not only lift our currently spent spirits, but will actually contribute to the beauty of the badass butterfly.
Demp's just got to keep pitching like the God he's been pitching like and that's going to happen.
So like I said, I'm sitting there working.
Out of nowhere, Oif says, "Dempster's going on the 15 day DL."

It's like my last brain cell is being used as a punching bag by this team.
I've been kicked in the nads with such regularity this year that I'm almost used to it.
This one, however, was a square uppercut.
Had to lay down, pull on my own belt and take deep breaths.

I understand now that it's not really that bad, that it's just some lat thing and he just needs a couple weeks.
(We'll see.)

But seriously man.
Can the Baseball Gods just take a freaking break?
Leave us alone for five minutes?

And then I turned on the Cubs vs the White Sox game, and my eyes went goo goo.
What kind of day is this anyway?
The Cubs hit 5 homers?
Soto came off the DL and hit one? Valbuena? Soriano and Bryan LaHair and hot as you can be Starlin Castro too?
Somebody tell me if, in the entire time Matt Garza has been with our favorite team, if the Cubs have gotten more than 5 runs for him in a game?
Sure doesn't seem like it.
The Cubs beat the Sox TWELVE TO THREE?

What's next, oh ugly warty caterpillar?

Happy Father's Day card for Cub Fans.

 

Happy Father's Day everybody.

Actually a kind of a good game last night.
Couple days ago, Luis Valbuena took over for the wrist-injured Ian Stewart at 3rd base.
Last night he knocked a 3-run homer out of the park offa Boston starter John Lester.
(Although Ryan Dempster sort of proved to us earlier this season that, as a stat, a win/loss record for starting pitchers isn't necessarily accurate, Lester is 80-38 over his career.)

But Valbuena wasn't enough for the Cubs, as the awesomely-named Jarrod Saltalamacchia hit a 2-run homer offa Jeff Samardzija.
Add an RBI each for Will Middlebrook and retired outfielder Scott Podsednik and you've got Sox 4 Cubs 3 as a final. 
Oh wait, I guess Podsednik is still playing. Who knew?

Samardzija gives up 4 hits and 3 runs in 5.3.
Also walks 3 and throws 108 pitches, which is too many in too few innings.

Tonight it's Paul Maholm vs Sox lefty reliever Franklin Morales, who's taking the place of scheduled but shoulder inflamed starter Josh Beckett.

I did this painting for my dad last year, and it's now hanging in his house.
As I recall, he made the shot. 

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, POP!

PS: If you get a chance, go see Wes Anderson's oddly charming and absolutely gorgeous "Moonlight Kingdom".