When I first moved into my office, the person before me had put stuff up on the walls with those little square double-sided sticky things which, once pulled off, lifted not just the paint but a layer of the drywall.
I have this gigantic bulletin board that I use to organize all my projects, and I used it to hide most of the offensive wall-area.
But before I did it, because I'm 12, I drew on the walls.
Making little horrified screaming faces with mouths where the ripped off part of the paint was.
Long time to get here, sorry.
Anyway, we're renovating the offices, so I'm moving to a temp one while that happens.
Yesterday I had Emily's radio on listening to the game and just as I pulled off the gigantic bulletin board, the Reds were in the process of dismantling the Cubs in the first inning.
The little screaming faces were revealed with perfect timing.
I just added some tacks in the eyes and the "AHHHHHH. I'M A CUB FAN" quote.
Because you know what?
Until this team wins a series, or shows any kind of life whatsoever, all we'll be hearing is that they may end up making history with their awfulness.
That 100 losses is alot more plausible than before the season started.
And I can't really argue with them.
Kerry Wood went to the 15 day dl and he was replaced by the awful Scott Maine.
Who I'll never forget when he debuted against Boston last year.
Not only that, but apparenty Ryan Dempster is headed for the DL as well with a bum leg.
You guys are surely familiar with Bulls' Stud Derrek Rose - it's almost comedic in the way his injuries connect like this song:
And we all know what happens when something goes wonky with a pitcher - it just means something else is going to go wonky and that wonky thing will make something else go wonky and on and on until long, extended rest and healing.
So Randy Wells, you probably get to be Ryan Dempster for an extended while, and Scott Maine is Kerry Wood, and meanwhile the entire Cubs' season so far is not unlike yesterday's first inning against the Reds.
A deep, dark hole with no hope of getting out.
I'm working on a plan, however, so that I don't just have to draw exploding heads and people gouging out their eyes a hundred times this season.
(Although for a minute there I was considering simply doing the exact same gouging-eyes-out subject matter over and over again in different media for the entire season but....maybe a little too Andy Kaufman for me.)
Anyway, can't tell you what it is yet.
I can tell you it's almost time for game 2 of this Cubs/Reds series, and today it'll be Paul Maholm of Oh and Two and 13.5 ERA fame taking the mound for our favorite team.
Please, Paul Maholm, do something that includes strikes and outs.