I'm just thinkin' Spring Training is coming on in what? 10 or 11 days?
Before we know it we'll be freezing on Opening Day at our favorite place in the world, Wrigley Field.
So...just gettin' antsy.
While the news is the Cubs DeeEffAyed that guy Jim Hendry traded for Ted Lilly, today I'd rather just make stuff up.
When you read the following, pretend you're hearing Charlton Heston's voice:
Here's to you, Wrigley Field men's room.
You're a man made marvel of cement and steel and smelly spartan slabs of slate and sealant.
A room where a man can make room for another malted beverage of his choice.
Yeah, you've got 'em.
So men wearing baseball hats can fix their hair and...put their baseball hats back on.
There's nothing more glorious than Pat and Keith broadcasting live so Cub Fans can keep their baseball experience going while going themselves.
Your one of a kind, giant rectangle of blue tile with troughs facing each other on opposite sides?
Form follows function, friend.
Like a neck-high, 25 foot long picnic table with troughs where the benches would be, you've got one right in the middle of the room where a man can find relief and quickly learn one of your unspoken laws: Eye contact is simply not allowed.
How about a sink-thing?
Sure, you've learned to put a sign reading "sink" over this gleaming stainless steel confusion to keep the uninformed from peeing into it, but for efficiency it is nothing short of breathtaking.
Finally, you speak the truth, oh Wrigley Field Men's Room.
For while the odds say the Cubs have to win it all some day, nothing says "wait til next year" like the lines in front of your doors.