Cubby-Blue

Bryan LaHair has a little message for Albert Pujols

 

Oh man, how'd you like to be Bryan LaHair?
You get your 2010 chance to come up, you do really well, you get a new GM who promises to build from within, and what do you hear?
"CUBS TALKING TO ALBERT PUJOLS."
Ouch. 

Pretty hilarious, that headline.
I saw some Sports Center last night, and this was a giant deal.
The Cards have offered him (from MLB Traderumors today): "...a nine-year, $198MM extension in January..."

Anyway, scares the crap out of me as you well know, but we'll see what happens.

Super busy, gotta work, see ya.

A toast to the Houston Astros from a Cubs fan.

I am so gonna miss the soon to be newly American Leagued Houston Astros.
I'll miss the Cubs traveling to Minute Maid Park, playing on that awesome field with that neat little hill in the outfield.
And the train.
Come ON!
Who figured that one out anyway?
The concept ties in so seamlessly with "Astros".
Brilliant.
And we can't forget Drayton McClane wishing the Cubs would come down and play in a hurricane.
Just an awesome guy - he'll SO be missed.
But I'm sure new owner Jim Crane is quite the happy man.
This from Ultimate Astros: "McLane turned over the worst team in the majors and an office with a view overlooking Minute Maid Park from left field. He also left Crane a good-luck note and a bottle of Taittinger champagne as an office-warming gift."
That's right!
They are the worst team in baseball, have some champagne!
Over the last couple years getting rid of Hunter Pence, Roy Oswalt, and Lance Berkman.
And it was a good thing too, because they're all so out of gas.
Like, Lance only got 31 dingers and 94 RBIs for the Cardinals last season.
Jettison the guy.

And finally, the Astros are now an American League team.
Ouch.
They all say that league is a little better than the NL.
Get to play the Angels, the Rangers, the Yankees...
But probably Carlos Lee can just switch over to DH, so no worries!

We'll see how many times the Cubs play the Astros in this newfangled set-up starting next year, and I'm sure to get more opportunities to do more "I Hate The Astros" pages. 

Cheers, Houston!

And now, the Bears and...young Caleb Hanie.
So it was a loss, but hell.
I remember watching Todd Collins and thinking why, this man is a complete fool.
I actually feel like there's Hope with Hanie, and he might even get to be fun to watch.

Black Friday at Target: Josh McCown was the last QB on the shelf.

Okay, off by a couple days, but you get the idea.

I was actually hoping the Bears would get Kyle Orton to come play some quarterback in Chicago.
Walking past that live radio broadcast coming from the bottom floor window of the Tribune Towers on Michigan, I heard them say the Bears had gotten Josh McCown instead.
That sounds pretty close to "McNown" and I missed a step, processing.
No, they definitely didn't say "Cade" so I calmed down and waay back in the brain remembered that name.
Josh McCown of the Arizona Cardinals, right?
Looked him up, and he's actually Josh McCown of the Cards, Lions, Raiders, and Panthers.
He's got 35 touchdowns and 40 interceptions.
Sounds about right.

You guys get that stack of BLACK FRIDAY! catalogues and coupon stuff with your paper yesterday?
I counted 7 different "DOOR BUSTERS!" sales.
Couldn't help with this McCown cartoon, I believe he's getting $300 grand for backing up the rest of the season. 
 
On Christmas morning, unwrapping a gift with McCown inside would be like getting something from the neighbor's garage sale. But whatever - hopefully young Caleb Hanie comes in and owns the offense.

Go Bears, and I hope you all had a fabulous Thanksgiving.

This was the centerpiece my daughter made from a home-grown carrot and a soda can:

Thanksgiving History And The Pilgrim Cub Fans

How long has it been since the Cubs last won the World Series?
A looong time, my friend.
And what many people don't realize is that some of America's earliest settlers were actually big Cub fans. 

The Pilgrims first came to America in the early 1900's, bringing the game of baseball with them.
You all know about the famous Pilgrim Cub Fan explorers Louis and Clark and their famous expedition where they famously discovered soon-to-be-famous Wrigley Field.

Interestingly, the ballpark was located on already-discovered Addison Street. But walking around the corner, the duo discovered another street running north/south. And as the story goes, they flipped a gold doubloon to see which explorer the street would be named after.
Of course the winner was William "Clark".

In 1908 the Cubs won the World Series. Pilgrim Cub Fans were so thankful and turkeys so aplenty, they decided to invent Thanksgiving.
They hunted turkeys down and wrung their turkey necks, boiled them in a vat of oil til they were done just so, and proclaimed the holiday. 

Pictured below is believed to be Geovany Durocher, Leo's great grandfather, at one of the early Thanksgiving Feasts.

As you would expect, there were many women Pilgrim Cub Fans showing their true colors back in the day. 

Many current Wrigley Field traditions were actually the contributions of Pilgrim Cub Fans.

 

So as we sit round the Thanksgiving Table, let's give a word of thanks and admiration to the Pilgrim Cub Fans, inventors of Thanksgiving, and the last people to actually experience the Cubs winning a World Series.

This article was the contribution of guest author and noted historian Cornelius Goat, and has not been fact-checked. - Tim

 

(I did this post last year for Thanksgiving, and I think I'll put it up every Thanksgiving because it cracks me up.)

 

Bears want to acquire Kyle Orton's thumb

 

Listening to The Score this morning, I heard a fabulous rumor that the Bears want to get Kyle Orton from the Denver Broncos.
I think it was Lovie Smith they quoted saying, "We want the thumb, not that Orton part around it." 
Okay just kidding.
They said there was a rumor that the Bears wanted Orton to "back up Caleb Hanie." 

HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Right.

It would actually be awesome if they could get old Orton.
I always liked that guy - he's like the walking definition of football player tragedy.
Obviously the Bears have no confidence in Hanie, so why not?
Plus, imagine being Kyle Orton.
Wouldn't you KILL for this opportunity?
How awful must it be on the bench with nothing to do but chat with gazillionaire hack loser Brady Quinn while watching freaky luck-job Tim Tebow get W after W?

Anyway, super busy.
Gots to work.