I gave up on the game because of the weather, and didn't find out it was actually going on til I was driving to a movie and turned on the radio.
During the previews, I was reading my little Cubs score app thing on my phone, and here's how it reads in play by play:
"T Campana reached on infield single to shortstop, C Pena to second, C Pena to third on throwing error by shortstop R Cedeno."
Sounds innocent enough, right?
Ex-Cub Ronny Cedeno starts at short for the Pirates, guy made his first error in 30 something games, right?
Well, I'll guess what happened and you can tell me if I'm right.
First, before the game there was a little talk going on in the Pirates' locker room.
One guy said, "I heard Campana's starting today."
Another guy said, "Jeez. That guy is fast."
And then maybe manager Clint Hurdle said, "The fastest in the Bigs. Faster than Henderson ever was."
And then somebody looked at Ronny Cedeno and said ominously:
"They say he can get down to first in just over 3 seconds."
And Ronny thought, "Maaan, I hope I don't have to field a grounder from CamPANa." (I imagine if you could hear the voice in Ronny's head, it would sound like Kramer from "Seinfeld", so when he says "Cam-PAN-iya" there's a little hitch in his throat.)
So Carlos Pena's on first, there's one out, and because the Cubs can't score against the Pirates, Quade puts on the hit and run.
Just guessing, could be wrong.
I imagine the ball is hit fairly weakly to Cedeno, who thinks, "Holy GOD! It's coming right to ME! Pena's gonna make second easy so my only play is to HURRY LIKE THE CRAZY MAN AND GET THE THROW TO OVERBAY because...it's (remember the hitch) Cam-PAN-iya!"
Then the throw is short and off-line, it bounces in front of Overbay and skips over his glove towards the dugout and Pena goes to third easy.
That about right?
There aren't a whole lot of good things to look forward to with this year's team, but Tony Campana and his insane speed is one of them.
He makes people make mistakes.
They act like the alarm didn't go off and they've got a big meeting and they rush and when they get there they look down and their zipper is down, the socks don't match and there's a tile comet of toilet paper trailing from their left shoe.
Anyway, thank you Cubs for not getting swept by the Pittsburgh Pirates.
And today we get to see the latest emergency addition the Cubs could scrape off the bottom of someone else's barrel - Rodrigo Lopez - starting in his first game for the Cubs against the I Hate The Astros.
And guys, it's Memorial Day.
Take a minute and stop what you're doing and think about the people who protect your country.
The National Anthem is a really good time to do this, by the way.
Gentlemen, kindly remove your caps.