Cubby-Blue

Matt Garza: what rain delay?

So that was some kind of superpower or Houdini thing Matt Garza showed us last night.
I was driving home going west on Irving, listening to the game when the sky went dark and it didn't just rain, it flooded the streets and hailed on my vinyl convertible top.
Right about then I heard Pat say something like, "Despite all these clouds, not a drop of rain has fallen so far..."
Like 7 minutes later, rain delay.
So Garza, he wills his body to think it's just the normal time between innings for the next hour, then goes out and pitches again like it was nothin'.

If you don't think that's hard, ask St. Louis starter Jake Westbrook, who came back after the delay and gave up 3 singles, a double, hit a guy and then hit the shower.

It's as usual insanely busy, so... worked a bit and didn't even turn the game back on til later, and, you know, not often you turn on the tv and it says Cubs 10 Cardinals 1.

So I missed the shelling part, but that didn't stop me from cracking an ice cold one.

Cubs 11 Cardinals 4?
17 hits for the Cubs with Starlin Castro going 4 for 4 with 3 RBIs and 3 runs?
Garza's first Wrigley win, and up there with the Lees and Hallidays in strike outs?
WOOOOOOO!!! 

Turns out my favorite rivalry in all sports isn't so St. Louis-sided.

And today... a chance for Casey ColeMAN to win the series.
Tough assignment since he's up against undefeated (4-0) Jaime Garcia, a lefty.
Garcia's given up 10 hits to 34 lefty bats, and 23 hits to 127 righty bats - that's .294 for the lefties vs .181 for righties.
So one would imagine we'll see a lefty-heavy lineup today, and it would sure be nice to see Tyler Colvin play some and begin his road back to respectability.

Go Cubs! 

Oh, and welcome, Welington Castillo!

 

Cubs: Bring me Welington Castillo IMMEDIATELY!

If we have to watch Koyie Hill start behind the plate for the entire time it takes Geovanny Soto to recover from his strained groin, well...I'll do a really mean drawing!
How's about that, Cubs management?

During this, our season of meager expectations, I've been relatively content because I just like most of these guys. 
But Koyie Hill is that guy who... if you look really close at his baseball card there is fine print at the bottom that reads:
*Do not expect this man to do anything right. 

It was the first gorgeous Wrigley night of 2011, and I arrived just as the Cubs took the lead in the bottom of the 1st.
And while that was fantastic, it was also an inning where the Cubs left the maximum.
Chris Carpenter had given up 4 singles and 2 walks - he's one of those guys you want to get to early before he settles down - and he was clearly on the ropes.
And the bases are loaded as Koyie Hill walks up to the plate.
Of course, he swings at the first pitch.
The sound his bat made upon contact was a "doink", and the ball politely went about 95 feet into the waiting glove of a 3rd baseman named Daniel Descalso (Daniel would become a little more well known before the game ends).
 

Bring me Welington Castillo. 

In the 7th, Koyie would prove equally inept when he couldn't handle a fabulous Fukudome throw that woulda cut down...well here he is, on his knees looking for the ball he just dropped while Nick Punto scores.

Bring me Welington Castillo.
Before the game starts tonight.

Anyway, you probably watched.
The Cubs tie it late and bring in Kerry Wood. Kerry's not on at all, Pujols singles, Holliday walks, Berkman flies out which moves the runners, Quade decides to load 'em and intentionally walks Molina, Punto makes out#2, and then that guy playing third I'd never heard of steps up to the plate.
And it felt really good because everybody was on their feet and it got loud and electric and it was Kerry and the defining moment of the game and that son of a bitch Daniel Descalso hit a single and ruined everything.
I mean, that place popped like a balloon, and in the 9th even though Carlos Pena was on base with Starlin Castro up and 2 outs, you knew nothin' was gonna happen.

Welington Castillo.

Here are more shots...

Darwin Barney, just another man left on base.

The guys in the scoreboard were watching the Bulls kick some Hawk bootay.

Alfonso Soriano made some of the best plays I'd ever seen him make. Unfortunately, he balanced them out with a couple bad ones and man, do people like to boo him.

Boo.

Matt Holliday strikes out.

Poor Zambrano had some pretty awful D behind him.

Starlin Castro's bloopy and fabulous single to right that scored the tying run.

And as I watch aging Alfonso Soriano, this is a sign I could not agree more with.

Okay, tonight it's 2-2 Jake Westbrook vs. 1-4 Matt Garza, and... BRING ME WELINGTON CASTILLO!

Last thing, worthy opponent Tony LaRussa has some kind of shingles thing or something. Get well, Tony. You're one of my favorite guys to hiss at.

 

 

 

Cubs vs Cardinals. SO not fair.

Oh my god.
When's the last time you took a gander at team stats?
Hitting - the Cards lead the N freaking L in almost every single category.
Pitching?
The Cards beat the snot out of the Cubs in everything.
This is just so unfair!
The only thing the Cubs beat the Cards in is strike outs, which is good for pitching but bad for hitting.
(Cub pitchers have gotten 265 strike outs to 238 for the Cards, Cub bats have whiffed 227 times to the Cards 212.)

But the Cards are WAY superior in literally every single stat: ERA, SV, QS, BA, SLG, OPS, and OMG the Cubs are gonna get their asses handed to them.

On the ESPN stats page, you'll see Alfonso Soriano's smiling face atop the Home Run category, but also stupid Matt Holliday above BA and ex-Astro Lance Berkman's heavily mascaraed smiling eyes above RBIs.

What's wrong with that picture?
No Albert.
Freaking Albert Pujols has been sleeping all season.
What if he wakes up?
We'll bring in Jeff Baker?

They should just call the games right now.
Mike Quade should just call up Tony LaRussa and say, "Dude, we don't stand a chance. Lets play checkers instead."

I read awhile back that in St. Louis, the Reds are the real rivalry.
The Cubs are sort of laughable entertainment - like a cartoon before a movie, an appetizer.

But...heeey.
Wait just one statistical minute.
There IS a reason they play the games, and that's because of a little-known stat known as ADT.
Because Any Damn Thing is possible in a baseball game.
Of course, so far ADT refers to LOB for the Cubs, but maybe, just maybe something good happens.
We'll just have to see.
In fact, I think I'll go myself. 

Go Cubs. 

Say it with the "W" bouquet: Happy Mother's Day

Hey.
Happy Mother's Day, all you Mothers.

Just a great game yesterday except I would enjoy a teensy bit of sun the next time I go to Wrigley.
After starting the day with 4 straight balls, Casey ColeMAN was a stud, striking out 6 including Joey Votto twice.
But the bats were pretty quiet vs Bronson Arroyo except for the unexpected liner that went out to right from Blake DeWitt - the wind was blowing directly the opposite direction he hit it.
Amazing.
The end was the good part, and with that little rally off hadn't-blown-a-save-yet Francisco Cordero, maybe the Cub bats woke up a little.
Jeff Baker with the clutch shoulda-been-the-winner-hit that bounced out for a ground rule double, leaving DeWitt one base short of the W.
Kosuke Fukudome with the smack up the middle to win it.
He's still hitting a week into May.
Weird but good.

Tyler Colvin might as well just start off each at bat with an 0-2 count.
I'm sick for that guy.
But what a fabulous game, and maybe today we get to put another flower in that bouquet above!

Go Cubs.

I gotta go make breakfast in bed.
See ya.

If the Cubs were a porn movie? Pretty boring.

Man, what is it with the not being able to score?
Loading the bases with nobody out and not scoring is sooooo not fun.
Especially against the stupid Reds.
Bottom 4. Soriano walks, Byrd singles, Pena walks, Geo grounds into a DP.
Bottom 6. Byrd singles, Pena walks, Geo singles as Byrd scores, Reed hit by pitch, bases loaded! then strikeout, foul out, ground out.

I'm about to head out to Wrigley, and it's Casey ColeMAN up against that freaky surfer-lookin' dude Bronson Arroyo.
I think I mighta jinxed young Casey awhile back with that flattering post I did about him...But still, if the Cubs can actually not leave a hundred guys on base maybe ColeMAN has a chance. 

By the way, this'll sound probably crazy but did you know I've never actually seen a porn movie?
Nope.
How I figured out how to write that flat dialogue and the swanky use of the word "score"?
Somebody told me one time that they talk like that in porn movies. 
Otherwise I'd have no idea.
Seriously.