The last time the Pittsburgh Pirates didn't finish in last place was 2006, when the Cubs beat them to the cellar by one game.
But like vomiting in Echo Canyon, the Pirates have repeated last place since 2007.
Last year, they had 57 wins and 105 losses.
Revoltingly, 11 of their 57 victories came against the Cubs.
The 2010 Pirate payroll: $34,943,000.
The Cubs: $146,609,000.
(I did some random math above that somehow arrives at an equation for joy vs. misery and Carlos Pena).
This, our season of 2011, opened on April Fool's Day with a 3-6 loss to the Pittsburgh Pirates, and led to the first 3-game series loss for the Cubs.
And now the two teams have identical 22-26 records with the Pirates losing 6 of their last 10 while the Cubs have lost 5.
But anyway, it's Memorial Day weekend, and it's baseball season and I'm conditioned to...I simply don't know any better than to watch the Cubs, so...
AND IF YOU LOSE TO THE FREAKING PIRATES AGAIN I'M GOING TO.. JUST GO AHEAD AND FREAKING BARBECUE ANYWAY AND LIVE MY FREAKING LIFE JUST LIKE YOU DON'T EVEN FREAKING MATTER AND INSTEAD OF TALKING ABOUT HOW FREAKING HORRIBLE YOU ARE I'LL JUST FREAKING TELL EVERYONE A FREAKING STORY THAT HAS NOTHING TO FREAKING DO WITH YOU.
ps: thanks for not losing to the hideous Mets yesterday.