So... you're Jim Hendry and you left a giant hole in your rotation when you sent Ted Lilly away. Where do you go shopping for a stud lefty starter who was your best pitcher? You've got Dempster, Wells, Gorzy, and you've got kids who might do well in Cashman, Coleman, you've got even YOUNGER kid in Archer, and you've got wildcards in Silva, Zambrano. It's unsettling when you consider the pitching in the rest of the Central, and the fact that Jim's got Target money rather than Chanel money.
I don't know about you guys, but balancing job and shopping for holidays has been seriously one-sided in the favor of job. Like, as soon as I'm done here I'm gonna haul to some mall and, you know, walk around in a daze and try to imagine what my daughter wants since she won't tell me. Son was easy because he's going on a big trip soon, and he doesn't have a camera. I snuck away from work at lunch last week and went into a Best Buy, and I was in and out in 10 minutes: A salesman goes can I help you? I go yeah, I need that inexpensive Cool Pix, memory and case. He goes ahh, you're not like the others. I go how's that? He goes you wouldn't believe how many people ask for help but...don't know what they want. I go that's idiotic. He goes you want the extended Best Buy warranty? I go no. He goes here happy holidays. And I was out.
But now, I'm about to go be idiotic and not know what I want as I wander in a mall.
If I find Matt Garza on sale, I'll call Jim Hendry.
Well, there are so many things to wish for: Soriano wins a Gold Glove...Fukudome takes some Dramamine and is cured of his spinning in the box...somebody steps up and becomes a real lead-off guy,...no injuries for Aramis...an absolute Stud Can't-Miss Lefty 1st base prospect emerges down on the Farm...Milton Bradley proves that last year wasn't his career year...the kids turn out to be legitimately awesome...
But I look at this team and what to do and...it's a game of Jenga.
I start pulling out pieces and it leans way over and my hair catches on fire just as I notice my pants are down.
I really have no idea - what do you guys think?
I guess when I think about a realistic wish list for 2011, it really is mostly...I hope for luck, I hope for everyone to play to their capabilities, but mostly I just hope to like the team regardless of their record so I can have a fun summer.
It's about the 10 millionth round of your career, Brett Favre.
There are no referees who count you out, no standing 8's, no trainer to throw in a towel for you. If you can get up, you can keep throwing punches. But I hope last night was a technical knock out.
When I see your ancient, gray head get whiplashed into the ground the way Corey Wootton did last night, all I can think is: stay down man. You've had a brilliant career, but it just ain't worth it any more. The Vikings have a couple meaningless games left this season, and no matter how much you hear a Jon Gruden telling you how much you love to play because you love the game and the guys and all that, it's just time, bro.
Let some kid play these last couple games, even if he's a third stringer.
Now, from a Bear Fan's point of view, last night was pretty damned fun. I had a couple guys texting me throughout the game, and I probably got "this is fun" about 6 times, and I also got the exact "Hester is a god!" 3.
No, the Vikings aren't the Packers. But they're up there on the "I hate" scale, and beating the crap out of them like the Bears did last night'll make you wanna eat a pound of raw steak with all your animal teeth.
Forty to fourteen, and a NFC North Championship won on frozen turf somewhere in Minnesota while Devin Hester sets a record with his 14th touchdown return.
See you in the playoffs, man.
One last thing - why in the freaking world was Cutler playing on that crap field in the 4th quarter?
First off, there really is some kind of rare, total lunar eclipse that's gonna happen Monday night. Just in case it shows up too late for Monday Night Football I did this drawing so, you know, you'd all know what it looks like.
Next, I'm pretty sure if you asked Dick Butkus or Jerry Kramer or Bart Starr if it's "dangerous" to play professional football on rock hard, frozen turf they'd just laugh in your face.
But still, Roger Goodell and his "safening" of football by fining people who hit other people for a living when they hit other people too hard has rubbed me even further the wrong way by having the Bears play in conditions that would seem to conflict with Roger's safety concerns. It's all about concussions, right Roger? When QB's get their heads slammed into the ground, kind of like Aaron Rogers did last week, they sometimes get a concussion.
When they get a concussion, they sometimes miss a start, which means less people will watch, which means less money for the NFL. And while I'm certain Roger Goodell sent Aaron Rogers an earnest "get well soon" card, you can bet the word "soon" was underlined.
Now, I don't know who made the decision for the Bears and Vikings play on a college football field that's been closed for the winter, been buried under a million feet of snow and frozen into green-gray asphalt. But I'll assume that if you're the commissioner of the NFL you probably have a large say in the matter.
As I know you know, Roger, the hopes of the Bears getting into the playoffs ride on one guy's shoulder(s), and that would be Jay Cutler.
So, just sayin' - should Jay get a concussion or a shoulder injury by banging on a super-frozen field, I suggest we Bears fans should get to fine you. Whatever we want.
And for you regular readers who are familiar with the moons that show up here once in awhile, well, I save 'em only for the right times...
is a sports and art blog following the Chicago Cubs with cartoons, gifs, animations, and illustrations by Chicago artist Tim Souers.
I began the illustrations in 2003 - you can find the links to the 2003 - 2006 seasons below.
2007 - present is in the regular archives.
Feel free to contact me at CubbyDashBlue(at)gmail(dot)com.
Thanks for visting, and go Cubs.
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