With these dozen games, what do you think the Cubs will make?
If it was McDonald's, they'd make The Big Breakfast or a McGriddles or something.
If it was I-Hop, it would be the "Rooty Tooty Fresh 'N Friuty" with the stack of pancakes and those hideous glowing strawberries.
At the 4 Seasons you can get poached eggs with seriously the absolute BEST corned beef hash in the universe I SWEAR TO GOD. That's if you've got about 25 bucks and no rental car to go somewhere sensible.
Cracker Barrel. You ever been there? Always off a highway clover leaf next to a Shell, a Chevron, a Taco Bell and a Holiday Inn with the dome and dog park? To get to the cash register you have to walk thru the gift shop and get the kids a pecan log or a plate with a cow on it? They've got massive egg breakfasts with ham steaks and pork chops smothered in white chunky gravy.
Denny's of course makes the appropriately themed "Grand Slam".
I'm gonna put some eggs in the pockets of my cargo shorts and chuck 'em at that guy dressed like a hot dog who hangs around outside Wrigley.
I gotta take it out on somebody.
The Cubs' absolutely horrendous aversion to making contact with the ball while a man waits on 2nd or 3rd to score the winning run makes me want to projectile an entire Rooty Tooty about 15 yards.
How in the world can you lose to this year's Astro team?
Ted nothin', Cubs 3, Astros 4, innings 13, manhood zero, and Bob Howry is the new Jacque Jones.
In the meantime, Stark says 6 (six!) teams are interested in our Ted.
Not a whole lot that could put me in a good mood besides Randy Wells shutting down the Cardinals on Friday and, oh I don't know... one miserable God Damn run when it counts.
Am I asking too much here?