You remember when you were little and once in awhile your family would pack up the car and go visit relatives somewhere? We used to do that alot, and it was awesome because we had super-cool cousins our age who usually had to make the same trip. Parents are smart that way.
But sometimes, you'd have to just go visit the grandparents without any cousins, and after you said hello it was kinda like, "well what do I do now?"
Don't get me wrong, I LOVED my grandparents. But this one time was kinda awful. They lived in Bryan, Ohio. Literally across the street from the place where they make the Etch A Sketch. Other than that, there was nothing there.
This was the most exciting part of this trip:
My brother climbed up in a tree and messed with a bird's nest that had babies. You know what happens if a human touches baby birds, right?
Mama bird tosses 'em out the window.
So my brother doesn't tell me about the nest thing, and the next day we're playing badminton over the clothes line. He serves, I go running way back for an awesome return, and I hear a little pop just as I miss with my racquet. I look down, and I'd just stepped on a tiny baby bird (the one that had been booted by the mom bird). You could tell it wasn't alive any more because one of it's little eyes had popped out. Seriously grossed me out.
"Ohhhh GODDD!", I scream.
"What's the matter?" my brother asks.
I'm not good with killing things bigger than bugs, plus I'm like 7 or 8 or something.
"I stepped on a little birdie!" I yell back.
You get the "birdie" confusion, right?
My brother thinks I'm messing with him.
"Duh! Come on - LETS PLAY!" he says.
So I picked it up and served it back at him.
"Ohhhhh...GODDD!" he screamed.
So that was kinda exciting, but not really.
Anyway, I remember I was sleeping alot. I'd heard the saying, "catching up on my sleep", and I literally thought you could. But then my dad asked me why I was being so rude just sleeping all the time.
I said, "If I sleep alot now I won't have to later."
He explained how you couldn't really save up sleep, so then I decided that I'd go ahead and stay awake during the day.
They had this awesome screened-in front porch, and I was hanging out there alot doing nothing.
My grandmother decided to teach me how to play solitaire.
So I'm shuffling the cards and suddenly my grandma looks like she's in shock. I look where she's looking.
The next door neighbor lady has walked out into her front yard in just her panties and bra. Thinking back on the memory, she was probably a good 190 lbs.
She walks around and around in a circle, mumbling and waving her arms at the same time.
And my grandmother makes me go inside - she's completely embarrassed, which makes me completely embarrassed.
You know what else makes me completely embarrassed?
The Chicago Cubs.
Right after they lost to the Pirates yesterday, it reminded me of this story.