Sometimes, it's better not to talk about a 5-9 loss to the Oakland A's, or about 4 errors made by 2 talented gloves, or about boobs on the base-path, or about how AWESOME it is to have John Grabow back.
Sometimes, we should talk about other stuff.
Like Gin and Tonics.
When I used to live in Northern Arizona, they had these pesky tiny bugs called no-seeums. (I actually don't even know how to spell "no-seeums" and I'm not looking it up.)
No-seeums are so tiny that you can't "see-um".
HAHAHAHA! Hey man! That is just a hilarious name!
Until one bites you.
They're worse than a mosquito because you don't really notice when you're getting bitten, and they tend to swarm. So you get a bunch of red sores and end up looking like you've got some kind of social rash.
A bartender where I used to work, Paul, told me that the tonic water in a gin and tonic contains quinine. And quinine repels no-seeums. I don't really know, but I imagine quinine gets in your bloodstream and when the no-seeum bites he just doesn't like the taste. I do know that gin and tonics were originally invented in the 19th century by the British to coax their countrymen who lived in India to ingest quinine. I guess there were alot of mosquitoes, and mosquitoes carry diseases, and mosquitoes are repelled by quinine just like no-seeums.
So, brilliant, right?
A mosquito and no-seeum repellent cocktail that happens to be one of god's gifts to summer!
Like the martini, you can get all snooty about them, how they're made and all - it is a British invention after all.
But really, if you get the ingredients in the painting above, you'll be TOTALLY good to go. I'd stay away from the more "interesting" gins like Hendrick's which is infused with cucumber and rose petals. Regular Bombay is my fav, but Tanqueray or Beefeaters are perfect, more traditional gins that emphasize juniper. Make sure the tonic is fresh - there is NOTHING WORSE THAN FLAT TONIC. And a lime or lemon.
Get a tall glass, pack it densely with ice cubes. I don't think I've ever measured how much gin, but you know, that's the fun of experimentation. Pour some in, pour in the tonic, squeeze in an eighth or quarter lime. Go enjoy your summer.
And remember, no-seeums can come out at any moment. There may be an invisible swarm of them around your head right now and you don't even know it!
You must repel them immediately!