Man when it comes to this, when management thinks a player is worth A, and the player thinks he's worth B, and neither side will budge any more, and you know ugly things are going to be said in the actual arbitration hearing... what's the shame in just flippin' a freaking coin?
That way you could televise it.
Seriously.
It would last about the same amount of time as the Kentucky Derby, and all us bloggers and fans would have something fresh to talk about when there's nothing going on except Big Z's hair and the promise of pie-in-the-face hilarity from Kevin Millar.
It could take place on a pitching mound made of the money the player would either win or lose, and there'd be a Brinks Truck or two and armed guards in tuxes...
On the jumbo-tron they could show highlights (and low-lights) of the player's career.
You could have guest coin-flippers so if it was a V.I.P. type player like A-Rod or somebody you'd see maybe Beyonce or George Clooney flip. Or if you're Ryan Theriot it might be Alex Trebek or The Who, but still... it would make for MUST-see tv.
And when it was over, Ryan could shake hands with Jim Hendry and there'd really be no hard feelings.
He'd go join the rest of the team, try his hand at being the next scrappy lead off guy.
Ahhh, just a buncha yakkin' going on here today, but I do believe when it gets to this point a coin toss would do the job just as well and nobody gets their nose bent out of joint.
I guess we'll find out about The Riot's contract later today.
What else?
Had the major breath-holding going on yesterday waiting to hear about Terrible Ted's knee. So it's nothing but I REALLY hope they watch him carefully as he comes back. Ted's said all the right stuff about not coming back too soon, but he's the kinda competitor who wants to get back out there NOW.
And I do like the fact that Carlos didn't show up with golden hair or whatever. It's a good year to get down to business.
Lastly, I'd like you all to note that I didn't stoop to doing a Tiger Woods boner joke.
That took... restraint.
