Our favorite team is becoming a joke with just...variations of the same punch lines over and over.
The 6th inning yesterday is a good example.
Carlos Zambrano's stealing home wild pitch panic toss, the taking out frustrations on objects (like throwing at Dewayne Wise), and the errors (yeah, the wind was bad but could our guys look any more like the Keystone Cops?).
Bob Brenly totally called out Soriano saying something like why are we worried about Fox or Hoffpauir's defense when it's already this terrible anyway?
And of course, the continuing impotence of the bats.
Again and again.
Sox 6 Cubs nothin.
Man, I wish the All-Star break would hurry up, because the Cubs need a time-out.
You're gonna have to help me with this one, guys. Here's my attempt:
#10: It turns out Geovany Soto's rotund shape came from a bad case of the munchies.
#9: Back to back sweeps in St. Louis and...San Diego (May 19 - 24).
#8: Taking out frustrations on a defenseless Gatorade dispenser.
#7: The "Exhibition" Games at the new Yankee Stadium, where the Cubs lost by a combined score of 5 to 17 in the two games.
#6: Getting more left handed.
#5: "Captain Morgan Club" - you just have to hope that the team really got
alot of cash from that booze company to put that sign up at Wrigley
Field. I can't even walk in there because the name is so embarassing.
#4: Aaron Miles. You can't even say "scrappy" about this guy.
#3: This thinking: "well, it's okay that the Cubs lost because so did St. Louis, Milwaukee, and Cincinnati." EMBARRASSING!
#2: The absolute lack of clutch hitting, and how the loss of one bat (Aramis) completely ruined an entire, expensive, professional, veteran line-up.
#1: Milton Bradley - from bumping the ump in his first game to tossing the ball into the bleachers with only two outs (Milton's Boner) - there isn't alot about Milton that isn't excruciatingly embarrassing.
And back to the news: the Cubs continued their losing ways on the road by getting swept by the Tigers, losing 5-6 yesterday for a 4 game losing streak they get to carry into Sox park today. A couple wins in the next couple days would really brighten things up around here. Lastly, went to see Steve Earle at the Park West last night, just him and a guitar and never-ending cache of excellent songs. It was a whiskey night.
If you go to i-tunes and type in "leaving you", over one hundred and fifty songs come up starting with the immortal Bad Company (off "The Sky Is Burning") and then to bands like DJ Screw and Juicy Monkey.
Every time I see the Cubs with runners on second and third, or especially with the bases loaded, I imagine the bats singing a song with that same popular refrain:
"I'm leavin' yooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuu".
Could be "I'm leavin' you baby" or "I'm leavin you behind" or "I'm leavin' your sorry ass".
But mostly this year it's been "I'm leavin you on base".
I don't even care who's up at bat when there are men on base, because everybody's equally guilty.
"I'm leaving you Mike. I'm leavin' you Alfonso. I'm leaving you Derrek. I'm leaving you Jake and Micah and Geo. I'm leaving you Rich and Ryan and Kosuke and Milton."
Last night the Cubs had 11 hits and 7 walks and 32 men left on base (as of 11:30 pm - sometimes it changes overnight like a miracle I haven't quite figured out) and 3 runs.
And they lost to the Tigers 3 to 5.
I am trying as hard as I can to hang with these guys.
But my funny's running low.
GET A GODDAMN HIT WITH SOMEBODY ON BASE PLEASE.
Letting off a little steam feels pretty good.
Okay, tomorrow it's Ted Lilly.
As far as I'm concerned, the only Cub truly worthy of an All-Star vote.
But starting pitchers, as well as they've been doing, can't win without a run.
is a sports and art blog following the Chicago Cubs with cartoons, gifs, animations, and illustrations by Chicago artist Tim Souers.
I began the illustrations in 2003 - you can find the links to the 2003 - 2006 seasons below.
2007 - present is in the regular archives.
Feel free to contact me at CubbyDashBlue(at)gmail(dot)com.
Thanks for visting, and go Cubs.
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