Cubby-Blue

Ryan Theriot: another Charles Atlas success story!

Come ON!

2 homers in one game?

Ryan THERIOT?

That's amazing and funny at the same time.

This drawing is totally ripped from the classic Charles Atlas comic book ad where the skinny guy gets beat up at the beach, works out, and then goes back to "Take care of that bully!"

Okay, Cubs win a game on a night I'm sooo glad I didn't have tickets to.

Walked out in my yard about the 8th inning, and that rain and lightning was pretty scary.

Alfonso ties ex-Astro Craig Biggio for 2nd on the all time lead off homer list.

Terrible Ted wins again, Geo goes long, and the Cubs are a half game out of first behind...St. Louis, Cincinnati, and Milwaukee.

This division is playing way better than anybody thought.

At 1:20 today it's Dempster against ex-Cub and guy-who-falls Chad Gaudin.

Go Cubs.

Milton Bradley Plays Long Ball

Wow.

Milton Bradley took a Jake Peavy fastball just about out to the Wrigley scoreboard's front stoop.

He creamed that ball.

A huge and clutch homer for Milton with Kosuke Fukudome on second and a run down.

Monster swing, and the Cubs are up 3-2. 

Next inning, in comes yet another reason for Peavy to want to become a Cub, which would be the Padres' bullpen.

First pitch went to Cub older rookie/bubble guy Bobby Scales, and he sent it to the right field bleachers then sprinted around the bags like he might get thrown out.

(Like that alot, by the way.)

And the final score Cubs 6 Pads 2.

Rich Harden vs. Peavy, by the way, those are two guys to enjoy watching thu-row.

Peavy struck out 9 and gets the loss.

Yep, the Cubs are supposed to beat the Padres, but the clutch Bradley homer, the 3 hits apiece from Soriano and Fukudome, the coming from behind, and the bullpen hold made for a very satisfying evening.

And whoever that third baseman is totally robbed Fontenot on that one shot to left.

Lastly, you had to notice Milton's finger behind his ear thing as he walked off the field after hitting his homer, letting us know his hearing works.

That was applause, Milton.

You deserved it.

It would be AWESOME if Jim Hendry had a mid-life crisis right about now.

Some guys, they get to a certain age and go a little nutty, maybe they go climb Mount Everest or buy a Ferrari - makes 'em feel better.

Some get divorced, others find some kooky new religion.

I wish Jim Hendry would wake up tomorrow morning and go "Damn! I'm having a mid-life crisis. I MUST BUY A...PITCHER! And...JAKE PEAVY, why he's right here in town..."

I know Lou's been talking about getting the bullpen "straightened out", but maybe the answer isn't finding another bullpen guy.

Maybe the answer is a whole nother awesome starter.

Like Jake Peavy.

Then, Sean Marshall, have we got a plan for you.

Because you see, you're actually the guy who, by the end of the year?

You're the guy who will save the whole damn season.

You'll be our new DeRo - the guy who can move between positions and do them really well.

Starter and lefty bullpen stud.

It's your destiny.

Lou needs a guy who can come in and pitch the 6th and 7th inning, alot.

I know Rich Harden's looking pretty durable right now, but I don't believe it.

Carlos Zambrano - you think he's on the DL just because he bunted?

No bro, he's getting older too.

We need a really good guy who can pick up the slack for starters who can't go more than 5-6 innings.

And we need a guy who can start once in awhile.

That's you.

So Jim, look in the mirror, dude.

IT'S A CRISIS!

Go buy Jake Peavy.

I've got a story, kinda long but I'll try to shorten it.

It's about those shades I painted up top, and if I told it before forgive me.

Years ago, we had the most amazing shoot.

And it ended right when it was scheduled to - that NEVER happens.

Wow, it's only six, lets do something.

We were staying at the Sunset Maquis, which is a place where famous people sometimes stay.

I ran to my room saying I'd meet everybody in the bar.

The producer, Greg Lane, said he wanted a cigar - the hotel had just built this little slit of a room off the bar where you could have a cigar.

When I found it, there was Lane over in the corner talking to some guy.

I sat down and ordered a drink, then Lane goes, "Tim, this is Luke, Luke...Tim."

And I shook hands with Luke Wilson.

The movie star and brother of Owen.

I tried to not act different, but I felt really odd.

Lane on the other hand, is a really outgoing, gregarious, super friendly and cool guy.

After a couple rounds, Lane berates Luke into coming with us to play pool at Barney's Beanery, which is a short walk from there.

So, me and Lane and writer Mike Piro go walking into Barney's Beanery like we're Luke's posse.

I did a painting about this way back when.

Anyway, Luke soon left and we played pool til late.

Now it's the next day, which is Saturday.

I'm driving to Manhattan Beach to meet my brother Grog, and I have a headache.

It's a serious behind-the-eyes thing that will not go away.

And I have forgotten sunglasses.

I meet Grog on Manhattan Beach Blvd, and right behind us is a sunglasses store.

I demand we go in.

Grog is slightly, okay way more stylish than me, and he points out these sunglasses.

The lenses are from heaven, dark and perfect.

There are lots of other people there, and I wait in line.

When I finally get up to the register, I realize (remember, I'm not quite 100%) that there is no price tag on the glasses.

The guy rings up $230 something dollars.

I have a heart attack, but there are 6 people behind me and honestly, I'm too embarrassed now to say no.

So I spend a shitload of money on a pair of stupid sunglasses.

Okay, cut.

It's a month later.

My wife Kim, angel that she is, does the bills.

I come home from work and she sits me down.

"Honey."

"Yes."

"Are you aware that you spent $230 on sunglasses."

I am about to go into the Deepest of Doghouse for a month.

I close my eyes.

"Yes."

Instead of anger, she looks at me with great compassion and says, "Do you think you might be going through a mid-life crisis?"

Oh Lord God in heaven, I am SAVED!

"Yes. I think that's it." I say.

She was on to me, of course.

Let me off with a kiss.

I just found those glasses the other day, reminded me of the story.

Okay Rich Harden, until Jake Peavy is a Cub go out and kick his ass!

Listening to the Cubs beat the Brewers from the garden of pain.

I do this EVery FREAKing YEAR!

It's a Sunday.

It's beautiful out. 

The Cubs are on the radio.

I've got old shoes on and some work gloves and a shovel and I'm turning over all the (clay) dirt and whacking it with a hoe and pouring on bags of better quality dirt and digging little holes with littler shovels and putting in little plants and pounding in stakes to hold up those stupid tomato plant cage things and not once do I think to get on my knees rather than just be bent over for hours at a time until it's waaay too late.

And then I wake up the day after, just like I did today.

"JESUS!"

"My BACK!"

This is the day I have ibuprofen with coffee, ibuprofen with lunch, and then maybe some ibuprofen with ibuprofen.

Luckily, the Cubs finally beat the Brewers.

It helps me deal with the sacrifice and pain of planting tomatoes so months from now my children can tell me once again how much they don't like tomatoes.

Sean Marshall gets his first '09 W, which is awesome.

Alfonso Soriano may be having his best Cub year yet - he hit his 10th homer.

Mike Fontenot surely made it to some highlight reels with his glove at 3rd.

Carlos Marmol hiccuped his way thru the 8th, and Kevin Gregg threw 2 strikes past Brewer cocky tough guy Ryan Braun that Ryan couldn't get his bat off his shoulder for, then slid a slider past him for the awkward swing and strike 3 to end the game.

Cubs 4 Brewers 2.

Brewer manager Ken Macha thinks Ryan Dempster is a head hunter (thanks for the heads up in comments, Kerry!), and I sense some bad blood between these teams.

The Padres come to town Tuesday night with 2-4 Jake Peavy vs 3-1 Rich Harden.

I wonder what Steve Garvey's been up to lately?

Last I saw, he was a hair loss celebrity spokesman.

Go Steve!

Lastly, if you're doing nothing tonight since the Cubs aren't on, GO SEE STAR TREK.

If you're not familiar with it because you're too young, you'll still love it because it's just a fabulous movie.

If you're old enough to have watched the original, this re-make is literally a cultural touchstone to another time because they didn't direct the actors to "make the character your own".

JJ Abrams directed the cast to act like the original cast, and they're REALLY good.

You'll howl.

It's like the most awesome episode ever.

Cubs Bullpen Drives My Cat to Drink

Hey, it's Mother's Day.

Not gonna dwell on the two (3, if you count Aramis) losses in Milwuakee.

It looks like a beautiful day.

Go do something nice for mom.

(And of course Roo Cat only drinks water, and seems remarkably un-bothered about either the struggles or injuries afflicting of our favorite team.)