I'd like to introduce you to Dirty Martini.
He talks through his olive, and I think he might come around once in awhile to you know, give advice, listen to your problems, stuff like that.
Right now, Dirty Martini is a little concerned with steroids.
Look what they've done to poor Jose Canseco.
I'm assuming you read about him getting popped coming back from Mexico with some kind of anti-steroid drug that he hopes can restore his bb's to their regular size.
Yeah, that's kinda mean, but Dirty Martini feels no sympathy.
And maybe you've read (or just did your own mental projection about what might happen soon) the rumor that Roger Clemens... you know he's sort of buddies with George Bush, and I guess Roger's maybe thinking about asking for a pardon from the President as he leaves office.
Of course, that would be a syringe full of guilt on Roger's part, but it might keep him out of the grown-up principal's office, which is where they send grown-ups who lie under oath.
Sometimes for years.
