Cubby-Blue

Kevin Youkilis' Samurai Stance

Kevin Youkilis. You gotta like a guy this intense. 

So intense that I'm sure he never even thought about what he looks like before he gets set up at the plate. 

Or maybe he does, because it's kinda scary. 

Over his head, he points his bat right at the pitcher, hands apart, pretty much like a Samurai movie badass fighter guy with a big sword. 

If Quentin Tarantino was a batting coach, lots of guys would do this. 

Then he brings his hands together and swings. 

Last night he... MOTHER OF GOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I JUST WENT TO THE BOX SCORE FROM LAST NIGHT'S GAME TO SEE HOW MANY HITS YOUKILIS GOT AND ONLY NOW FOUND OUT THAT...THE RED SOX WON?! 

I got two text messages from die hard Sox Fan Kevin Goff last night - the first one came after the 2 Rays runs in the first and is unprintable.

The second one came in about the 5th and said, "I'm chugging rubbing alcohol."

I went to bed when it was 7 zip Rays, thinking the Sox had not only lost, but got creamed again. 

Okay so Youkilis had a couple hits and he's batting .409 for the playoffs this year. 

But I'm struck dumb by the victory. 

The Red Sox can't do this again, right? 

I gotta get some coffee...

Congratulations Phillies! Hey...Pit Bulls Ate My Legs!

I'm just so happy for all the people in Philadelphia.

It's been what? 

Fifteen looong years since the City of Brotherly Love had their team in the Big Dance.

Wooooo wee, like the elevators in my building - will it ever get here?

And here in Chicago why, the South Siders won it all just a couple years ago so, whatever's fair, right?

We all got to share in that city-wide pride...

You know, you might think that as a Cub Fan, I'd be a little bitter about the whole deal, but...not so!

We experienced a little extra pain this year, sure, but as baseball fans we all still love to watch your team play.

This NLCS was fabulous!

Filled with intrigue and excitement...Cole Hamels and Jimmy Rollins and...finally Ryan Howard looks like he's starting to wake up!

And... how about that Shane Victorino, huh?

HOORAY FOR YOU, SHANE-OH!

Lastly, I'm EXTRA happy for Brad Lidge, him being an ex Astro and all - it's just super special awesome to have a little Astro presence in the Fall Classic.

So, have a great time at the Series, guys, and good luck!

I'm A Little Sick Of The Cubs "Choke Jokes"

That's it.

I've had it.

To all of you who felt compelled to share your Chicago Cubs "choke jokes", this post is for you.

And, for the benefit of any Cub Fan who happens to be at the wrong end of this kind of abuse, please feel free to send the offending party here.

I feel so much better now.

Bears: Thank You For Seconds Of Pleasure!

You know, the way things have been going for Chicago sports teams lately, I'll take those 10 Seconds Of Pleasure at the end of this Atlanta game.

The 10 seconds when the Bears pulled out a HUGE VICTORY over the Atlanta Falcons.

(Lets talk about the revolting, vomit inducing, hellish loss part later, along with WHY IN THE FREAKING WORLD LOVIE DECIDED TO NOT KICK A FIELD GOAL ON FOURTH AND ONE IN THE...oh nevermind.)

Seriously, how exciting was that?

I'm actually starting to believe in Kyle Orton.

What an absolutely fabulous drive!

With the Bears down 13-19 and I don't know, maybe 3 minutes left, Orton drove the Bears to a touchdown with a gorgeous pass to Rashied Davis in the corner of the endzone and I am telling you it was the absolute best, sunniest, most incredibly awesome feeling I've had since the worst feeling ever when the Cubs got swept!

THE BEARS WIN!

AN IMPOSSIBLE VICTORY!

I BELIEVE IN LOVIE SMITH! 

I LOVE LOVIE SMITH!

I'LL NEVER QUESTION WHY THEY STARTED GROSSMAN ALL THAT TIME WHEN A GENIUS FROM PURDUE WAS SITTING ON THE BENCH! 

I'LL NEVER QUESTION NOT GETTING MORE OFFENSIVE LINEMEN, GETTING RID OF THOMAS JONES, AND PUTTING ALL YOUR EGGS IN A ROOKIE RUNNING BACK BASKET!

I'LL NEVER...

Then of course, the Falcon's Jason Elam kicked a 48 yard field goal with a second left and the Bears lost.

When I was in little league, they put me at shortstop for one practice.

One!

And a hot grounder jumped under my glove and hit me so squarely in the balls I rolled in the dust for 15 minutes while my coach quickly decided it was the outfield for me forever.

That's kinda what the end of this game felt like.

But seriously, as a Cub fan?

Those 10 ecstatic seconds of fake Bears victory... I think I may actually be over the Dodger sweep.

Thank you, Lovie.

You've cured me.

Okay, all sarcasm aside, if I were another NFL team, I would not want to play the Bears.

They've already exceeded my expectations, and, you know, I'm not gonna miss anything from now on.

This is actually an exciting team.

The Chicago Bears Should Own This Quarter

So, we've been collecting all those "state" quarters, got the big cardboard book where you stick 'em in.

And the Alaska quarter just came out.

Got one in my change at a 7-11.

When I saw the graphic for Alaska was a big bear, well... seems not right for a state not even attached to the mainland to steal the symbol of the NFL'S first place team in the black and blue division.

And I think Mayor Richard M. Daley ought to do something about it.

Like, make our own quarter.

A Chicago Bears quarter.

I mean, I admire the educational aspect of doing the states thing with quarters, and I'm a huge Abe Lincoln fan so the Illinois quarter is cool.

But imagine how collectible a Chicago Bears quarter would be?

An entire generation of coin-collecting nerds would happen overnight, starting at age 4 or 40.

So Mayor Daley, I'm expecting this idea to receive some fast-track attention.

Arrange a meeting with Roger Goodell and make this happen.

In the meantime for good luck, I'm carrying a "Bears" quarter with me to watch them flatten the Falcons.

This Bears D should make young Atlanta rookie qb Matt Ryan get some happy feet.

And there is truly nothing better than watching a Bears defensive backfield that unloads on receivers like they have been.

You gotta love our strong safety if for no other reason than the guy's name is "Payne".

And Kyle Orton.

If the Chicago Cubs have taught you nothing else, you should have learned by now to celebrate when you can, and right now Orton looks so un-Bear-like with the long tosses that I'm just mesmerized.

Celebrating, too.

Go Bears.

And as for Alaska, why don't you guys do a moose or snow or something?

Leave the Bears to Chicago.