But imagine the unlimited minutes Jim Hendry uses on his phone.
Gotta be astronomical, right?
Gets a 4 year contract, I figure he DEMANDS they throw in the phone too.
God knows, he'll be using it enough.
But then I thought well, lots of people have unlimited minutes, and where's the status in that?
I think phone companies ought to wise up and be like the airlines - rank people by how many minutes they use.
You use a ton of minutes, you should be... recognized with a special status like gold or emerald.
Only, it would be awesome if their status levels were tied in with something cool, like a board game.
A board game like CLUE.
So the ultimate phone minute status level would be Executive Colonel Mustard.
You average oh, I don't know...1000 minutes?
You've achieved Mrs. Peacock.
1500 and you're Mister Green, 3000 and you're Miss Scarlet.
5000 minutes and you're Professor Plum.
Apple could start making different colored status i-phones, so when you see somebody with a plum phone, you know they're crazy on-the-phone people.
And when you get to Executive Colonel Mustard well, they have special cafes for you - cafes where Mister Green is not welcome.
When you achieve Executive Colonel Mustard, you can kick other people off the signal because, obviously, your calls are more important than theirs.
Steve Jobs, Mick Jagger and Jack Nicholson would be Executive Colonel Mustard, Evangeline LIlly's probably Plum, but you might run into a George Clooney or an Angelina Jolie at the Colonel Mustard Cafe.
Okay, maybe the CLUE thing is too much, but if I was a phone company guy and I read this post well, I'd surely be figuring out a way to make status be part of my service.
Any clown can buy an expensive phone or unlimited minutes.
But achieving Executive Colonel Mustard?
That would be so ultimate.
Okay, so World Series game one just ended as I write, and the Phils come out on top 3-2.
Pitching wins (what is the saying about winning with pitching, someone help me).
Cole freaking Hamels gives up 2 runs on 5 hits over 7.
I figured out tonight when the Series came on that I'm just going to continue to be pissed about the Cubs continuing to be late to this stage.
So I'm going to try and not think about that.
Thus the whole Clue/Phone thing above.
But I'm wondering, who is Jim Hendry on the phone to right now?
Well, as long as the Bears offense continues to score 4 or 5 touchdowns per game, and the opposing team gives the Bears 2 or 3 touchdowns per game, the Bears defense should be just fine.
Nathan Vasher and Charles Tillman and Daniel Manning are all injured.
Zack Bowman was making his NFL debut.
He scored a td by recovering a Viking punt screw-up, and he made the HUGE interception at the end that gave me my breath back.
Before that, you also saw him run to the sideline with his right arm dangling like a dead thing separate from his body.
But then other backup corner Corey Graham got a concussion, so Bowman talked the coaches into letting him come back out there with some kind of wrap that went from his wrist to up under his jersey.
Such is life for a kid from the practice squad who's suddenly the last cornerback on the team besides...I think they were talking about bringing in WR Rashied Davis.
Anyway, enough with the injuries already.
It's a bye week.
Heal, Bears, heal.
And, everybody shut up about former Packer Brett Favre calling up Packer opponents and revealing Packer secrets about the Packer offense until after the Packers plays the Bears and the Bears can learn Packer secrets from the former Packer too.
NOTE: After I posted this morning, I picked up the Sports and read that Bowman's going to have season-ending surgery for a biceps injury.
Couldn't tell if that was a smirk or a grimace on Josh Beckett's face.
Either way, that is one tough guy.
When I turned on the game, like you, I was watching a Steve Harvey show with apologies from Turner Broadcasting Company supered at the bottom.
Same thing with Beckett.
He's got something wrong with his "oblique", which is the muscle (or muscles) on your side, next to your stomach.
So he can't throw full velocity.
But we all remember the guy when he was on the Marlins in '03.
Like he was born for post-season play.
He gave up a couple homers, sat through a 15 minute umpire-injury delay, but mostly just won on breaking balls and guts.
Awesome game to watch.
When they showed the replay of Upton's homer (the one we missed while Steve Harvey was on), they had to use this magnifying glass effect to show us the ball mostly because the background is white, but also because it was so high and moving so fast.
He creamed that thing.
Youkilis jacked one.
And Boston's Captain, Jason Varitek, hit one out too.
I think he was oh for forever in 2008 playoffs, so a giant boost for the Red Sox.
But I was hoping for some real baseball, and they delivered.
And in a couple hours, it'll be the Bears vs. the Vikes and then tonight Boston/Tampa game 7.
Okay, this is a little on the soft side (I promise exploding brains soon), but I was struck yesterday by how many people I ran into who were in such a better mood all because the Red Sox had the Amazing Comeback in game 5.
There was baseball chatter in the hallway - it's a good sound.
It seemed like since the Cubs got the bum's rush, every playoff series was the same: one team completely dismantling the other.
And then the Boston Red Sox had this amazing comeback vs. the Rays.
All day yesterday, I was happier.
Which was odd, right?
I mean - good for the Sox but why suddenly so upbeat, I asked myself.
Turned out the answer came in the next logical-yet-angry question: "WHY CAN'T THE CUBS EVER DO THAT?"
And you know what that logical-yet-angry question is, don't you?
The seeds of hope.
Maybe I really am starting to finally get over the bad ending.
Ah, probably not.
Again, sorry about this illustration.
Looks like a bad get-well card.
But...nothing a little college football won't fix, right?
And tonight, I'll be pulling for some good baseball.
is a sports and art blog following the Chicago Cubs with cartoons, gifs, animations, and illustrations by Chicago artist Tim Souers.
I began the illustrations in 2003 - you can find the links to the 2003 - 2006 seasons below.
2007 - present is in the regular archives.
Feel free to contact me at CubbyDashBlue(at)gmail(dot)com.
Thanks for visting, and go Cubs.
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