But imagine the unlimited minutes Jim Hendry uses on his phone.
Gotta be astronomical, right?
Gets a 4 year contract, I figure he DEMANDS they throw in the phone too.
God knows, he'll be using it enough.
But then I thought well, lots of people have unlimited minutes, and where's the status in that?
I think phone companies ought to wise up and be like the airlines - rank people by how many minutes they use.
You use a ton of minutes, you should be... recognized with a special status like gold or emerald.
Only, it would be awesome if their status levels were tied in with something cool, like a board game.
A board game like CLUE.
So the ultimate phone minute status level would be Executive Colonel Mustard.
You average oh, I don't know...1000 minutes?
You've achieved Mrs. Peacock.
1500 and you're Mister Green, 3000 and you're Miss Scarlet.
5000 minutes and you're Professor Plum.
Apple could start making different colored status i-phones, so when you see somebody with a plum phone, you know they're crazy on-the-phone people.
And when you get to Executive Colonel Mustard well, they have special cafes for you - cafes where Mister Green is not welcome.
When you achieve Executive Colonel Mustard, you can kick other people off the signal because, obviously, your calls are more important than theirs.
Steve Jobs, Mick Jagger and Jack Nicholson would be Executive Colonel Mustard, Evangeline LIlly's probably Plum, but you might run into a George Clooney or an Angelina Jolie at the Colonel Mustard Cafe.
Okay, maybe the CLUE thing is too much, but if I was a phone company guy and I read this post well, I'd surely be figuring out a way to make status be part of my service.
Any clown can buy an expensive phone or unlimited minutes.
But achieving Executive Colonel Mustard?
That would be so ultimate.
Okay, so World Series game one just ended as I write, and the Phils come out on top 3-2.
Pitching wins (what is the saying about winning with pitching, someone help me).
Cole freaking Hamels gives up 2 runs on 5 hits over 7.
I figured out tonight when the Series came on that I'm just going to continue to be pissed about the Cubs continuing to be late to this stage.
So I'm going to try and not think about that.
Thus the whole Clue/Phone thing above.
But I'm wondering, who is Jim Hendry on the phone to right now?
is a sports and art blog following the Chicago Cubs with cartoons, gifs, animations, and illustrations by Chicago artist Tim Souers.
I began the illustrations in 2003 - you can find the links to the 2003 - 2006 seasons below.
2007 - present is in the regular archives.
Feel free to contact me at CubbyDashBlue(at)gmail(dot)com.
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