So Ted Lilly is SO on top of his game, and right at the right time.
Cubs win 7-3 over a not-right Ben Sheets.
Today will be cool to watch as the Cubs play the Brewers and the Mets play the Marlins in New York to see who the wildcard team will be.
Lou said today was going to be a "bullpen day", with a bunch of pitchers expected to play.
But I'll bet he got a call from Bud Selig last night that said something about the integrity of the game and perhaps some crank calls from Met fans.
We'll see.
But here's what happened to me yesterday.
You cannot make this up:
The Cubs were already on, so I was in a hurry buying groceries.
Including some peas.
At Jewel, fresh peas come in the same shrink-wrapped package as a steak: cardboard tray with clear plastic over the top.
So I'm at the checkout across from the cashier who's having a conversation with the bagger person, they both happen to be female.
CASH: "I can't wait to quit this job."
BP: "I'm gonna be a registered nurse."
CASH: "I hear it pays good."
BP: "Yeah, and you don't have to do anything but stand around."
BOTH: Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
And as the bagger is putting my peas in the bag, she accidentally rips the top.
One million peas go rolling all over the floor.
CASH: "Get a broom."
BP: "Not me."
Checkout gets on the phone to call someone with a broom while bagger idiot asks where I found peas.
I tell her exactly where.
Then, the Kid With The Broom shows up.
"Man, I thought peas came in cans." he says.
Already people are mashing them into the floor as they walk by with their carts, glaring at me.
Of course!
I'M the jerk because it's my fault I was buying freaking peas.
Broom Kid is large, and he's struggling to get the peas in the dustbin.
"Never seen peas like this." he says.
The checkout person in the next aisle turns around.
"Hurry up with the peas!" she says to Broom Kid, and then with thin lips towards me says: "Have you ever?!"
And now I'm swiping my credit card as the original bagger nimrod comes back saying she can't find peas.
"FINE!" I say and I do the pissed off fast-walk across the whole freaking store back to produce.
But I'm saying to myself to not be mad, it's just the grocery store...
When I get back, my cart is pushed out of everyone else's way and Broom Kid is smiling helpfully and says, "I got all your peas."
The checkout person, clearly exasperated, says "So sorry, sir."
I get to the car and I'm putting the bags in the trunk.
At the bottom of one of the bags, just beyond strawberries and salad stuff I see a couple peas peaking out.
I pull out the salad stuff to find ALL the peas that had fallen on the floor have been swept up and placed in the bottom of this bag.
It occurs to me that maybe the Broom Kid wasn't being a shit - that it's possible he honestly didn't know peas could come fresh, and thought maybe I would wash them, like a tomato.
Nah.
I turn around and dump a million peas onto the parking lot slowly, and every one that rolls particularly far away gives me extra satisfaction.
I'm pretty sure I look insane.
And when I look up, there's another Jewel guy, about 90, standing next to where you park the shopping carts in the lot.
He says, "Maaan, I hate peas too."
