Here's what I read in March: Albert Pujols can't straighten his injured elbow, their cleanup hitter is an ex-pitcher, and their starting rotation includes Todd Wellemeyer.
They got Glaus at 3rd (and lost Rolen), they moved Ankiel to center (and lost Edmonds), Cesar Izturis starts at short, they have a guy named Ludwick in right, with Molina, Kennedy, Duncan, and Pujols back where they were.
They got rid of their (I thought) brilliant GM Walt Jocketty, and old Tony stayed because...well, I don't know why old Tony stayed.
I thought this team was trashed.
They can't really be any good, right?
I mean, when I wanna get nervous, I think about Milwaukee and the Reds.
So how come St Louis is in first?
Why won't they go away ever?
Can you answer me that, brother?
It's early, you say?
How come if the Cubs don't do well early we can't say "relax, it's early", but if the Cardinals do do well early, the answer can be "relax, it's early"?
Huh, Mr. Man?
Uhh, on to your Chicago Cubs.
How about a SWEEP!
It's Matt Morris vs. Rich Hill.
Rich, your bullpen is spent, bro.
Do something magnificent tonight.