Cubby-Blue

Another Layer of Opening Day Fog

Even the brightest, sunniest Home Opener is usually a pretty foggy experience.
So we don't really need what's going on outside right now.
I'm looking out my 39th floor office window and you can't see anything but white.
I figure it'll be really moist and semi-opaque at the park.
I don't know, somebody told me it's supposed to clear up, but right now it looks like that old Bears/Eagles "Fog bowl" game outside.
At least it's pretty warm, and Carlos should get a good wet grip for some revolting movement on his fastball and slider...

Okay, if anybody from work is reading this, I'm uh, going to that edit now.

Welcome back, Cubs.

It's kinda like this, right?
Like seeing a bunch of old friends again.
Hey Carlos, wipe the spikes, okay?
And shut down the Brewers while you're at it, bro.

(This is in the April issue of VINE LINE, and it's all digital, all photoshop.)

Micah Hoffpauir's Yellowpages Ad

Remember when Derrek Lee went down with the broken wrist?
I try not to.
But more specifically, do you remember the guy they brought up to take D Lee's place in '06?
Neither do I.
I think it was a hodge-podge of guys.
Well, this guy Micah Hoffpauir, he had an awesome spring.
Lou played him almost every game - the guy's 28, he has no Major League experience at all, but it looked like he could hit.
If something's gonna happen for him, it ought to be soon.
Anyway, I wanted to do something to remember this guy.
A yellowpages ad seemed appropriate.
Later in the season, lets not say somebody gets hurt, but maybe Lou just wants a bat.
Call Micah Hoffpauir Lumber, Lou.
See what happens.
In any case, it's good to know there's a guy like that on the farm just in case.

Okay, I'm still on production, we go back tomorrow.
The opener's on Monday, supposed to be 42 degrees and showers.
I figure with the wind that means 32 and snowing.
Perfect.
I'll see you there.

Scott Eyre on the DL

If I had a sports bar, it would be called The DL.
Then, we could all talk in code.
Say you were watching the home opener there, you could call your friends back at the office and say, "Can't come back to work - I'm on the DL."
Now, Scotty Eyre, he's really on the DL, which means he's disabled.
A bum elbow.
A bone spur.
Not good.
He won't be at the home opener.
He can legitimately say, "I'm on the DL."
And while I will be at the home opener, I'm gonna have to say something else.
Because I don't have a sports bar.
Damn.

Other stuff.
I don't know what to think about Reed Johnson.
I know we need help in center, but please let Felix play.
Alot.
Can't wait for Monday.
Go Cubs.

Wood Goes Back To Back!

The back to back thing was the last test, and I assume Monday Lou's gonna say he's got the job.
I'll tell you what - if Kerry Wood can be the closer for even a month, it'll be the feel-good story of the year.
That guy's gone through the absolute worst kind of hell, and now he appears to be back.
I have agonized over the Kerry situation forever.
But I'm over it through the magic of "managing my expectations".
Works like this.
In college I was a waiter, and the kitchen was always slooow.
So I'd tell my table that they were backed up in the kitchen, and dinner would be about an hour.
That way, if it really was that late the table wouldn't be angry at me, and if it wasn't I was a hero.
In my head, I have informed myself that Kerry will get injured.
So if he does I won't be crushed, and if he doesn't well, I'll be ecstatic.
Of everybody on this team, Kerry Wood is the guy I'm pulling for most.

Okay, lastly work is INSANELY busy, I'm out of town and if I miss a couple days this week well, that's my story.
But I will be back wearing many warm layers for the home opening victory over the Brewers.
Carlos is pitching, the Judge may be back (not kidding - more later), and my shiny new refrigerator magnet schedule awaits.
Go Cubs.

Rich Hill, Poor Hill

You're probably too young to remember this book "Rich Man, Poor Man", but it was a big deal in the mid-70's.
They made a tv movie out of it with Nick Nolte as the bad brother, and it was Richard somebody as the good brother.
Probably one of the first books I ever read that had more than oh, 26 pages...
Anyway, Rich Hill.
11 batters.
6 walks.
Think I read he walked the bases loaded twice.
I don't know.
Maybe he's serious buddies with Mark DeRosa and wants to gum up any trades that might be happening.
Everybody seems down on him because of his outburst, but I think if and when Marquis goes we'll all share a giant, "Uh, why did that just happen?" moment.
I can handle a Kerry Wood back spasm (I'm going to expect this stuff all year), but the #4 starter not being able to find the plate is...it gives me The Fear.
On the other hand, taking out the trash this morning, couldn't help but notice my old friend the snow!
Hitting me in the face, so...
Probably plenty of time for Rich to get it together.
Probably I get The Fear too easily.
Probably.

Wrigley Field Name Change = No More Billy Goat Curse

(Note: Even I am sick of this curse thing and know better than to spread talk about it, but this is a new twist. Plus, the painting turned out pretty cool.)

You all know the story.
1945 World Series vs. Detroit, Billy Sianis brings goat, rain delay makes goat wet and smelly, Phil Wrigley has Andy Frain toss goat, Billy puts curse on Cubs, Cubs losing continues...
You can google it.
Here are the first three that come up:
Wikipedia says: "Sianis was outraged at the ejection and allegedly placed a curse upon the Cubs that they would never win another pennant or play in a World Series at Wrigley Field again.
The Curse Of The Billy Goat says: "...furious over the ejection and placed a curse on the Cubs that they would never win a National League pennant or play in a World Series game at Wrigley Field."
The Year Of The Goat says: "...man and goat stood outside Wrigley Field and Sianis raised his fist, shouting "The Cubs no win here no more!"

Whatever he actually said (if at all) is up for debate, but the consistent thing in the story is the part about Wrigley Field.
That the Cubs would never win a World Series at Wrigley Field.
The logic for the curse being lifted is simple: if the name "Wrigley Field" changes, the curse is irrelevant, and the Cubs are now free to win a world series.

So Curse-Believers, you just gotta hope the name changes even a little, and then you can pretty much skip to 2009 because this year the Series is in the bag.

And for Non-Curse-Believers, I guess lets hope for brilliant baseball and maybe Brian Roberts and Coco Crisp to wander over here.

Lastly, a shout-out to Red Sox fan John Hart, who walked into my office with a big smile and said, "I know how the curse will be lifted..."
Thanks John.

Carlos Z is the Cub's Heavy

I wish I had a deal with MLB so I could make legal t-shirts, because I would love to wear this one.
Through all the Big Z years, I have totally believed this about him.
Do not mess with Carlos.
Besides just being a giant man with a frightening fastball, he's kinda crazy - the absolute best kind of combo.
And as somebody on LOHO pointed out, he's got absolutely no filter when he opens his mouth.
Lastly, he's looking really good this spring.
Here's hoping that for the first time ever he comes screaming out of the gate and starts winning in March.
God, that's only 13 days away!

Anyway, I did pretty much this same Carlos painting years ago, but I can't find it.
A Chicago music house, Earhole, is having an art show.
I'm gonna put a few pieces in there, so I had to re-do this one.

The 2008 Chicago Bulls: My Take

Happy St. Patrick's Day From Wrigley Field

If you've ever parked in the alleys around Wrigley, you'll know exactly what this is about.
It means you have a lack of foresight and common sense, and are ignorant in the ways of public transportation.
Of course, that would include me.
Almost every game I drive to, I park in the same alley - the one off Waveland closest to Bernie's.
The little Old Timer in the painting - he's always standing there with his charming little sign made out of a wooden breadboard.
Just a nice little old guy, right?
Well, no.
He's a thieving Leprechaun.
Little bastard's been taking my money for years.

You ever see a guy hit a ball as hard as Thome hit that one off Neal Cotts?
Almost blew out my speakers, that smack.
Dammit Neal, I'm pulling for you because of your Belleville roots and (despite yesterday) you've got some talent.
So figure it out or you'll be back in Khoury League.