Saving poor little curious kittens...carrying groceries for old ladies...mowing Mrs. Gower's lawn when she's away taking care of her sick cousin.
These are the kinds of things our Carlos does in the off-season, to balance out the days when he's throwing 98 mph fastballs in the chin area of various Cardinals and Brewers.
The days when he scares the BEJESUS out of other men playing professional baseball.
Ahh, just kiddin'.
Thought I'd make up something nice instead of another mean painting about Roger Clemens.
By the way, if you're using the Amazing Do It Yourself Spring Training Counter Downer, you should have 96 Q-Tips in your holder thingy.