Cubby-Blue

Sing Along With Harry

It's sort of a celebration of the new year, this song.
I used to sing this song around a campfire in boyscouts when I was a kid, only it was "99 bottles of beer on the wall..."

Okay, this post is stupid, but when I thought of it and sang it out loud, it made me laugh.
And when I thought about Harry killin' time up in heaven with it, it made me laugh harder.
So there you go.

On January 1st, a very important year in the history of Chicago's National League baseball team will begin.
Because the last time the Cubs won the World Series was 100 years ago.
1908.
One hundred.
Years.
Ago.
I'm kinda excited about this next year.
I hope everybody assembled on next year's team is too, because this is gonna be a big deal.
Cheers and Go Cubs.

The Fukudome Effect at Wrigley Field

Man, it's nice to do a painting of Wrigley this time of year.
You know why?
It takes my mind off winter and all the crap that comes with it.
The cold, the salt covering the car, the lost gloves and...
I notice this every year: people walk dogs differently in winter.
They're a little more brazen about leaving Fluffy's pile behind.
They're thinking A: "It's too cold to take off my gloves and do my duty." B: "The snow will cover it." And mostly C: "Nobody's outside to see me not pick it up."
Right now winter has warmed up in the middle of itself, and a million dog turds all over Chicago have melted and turned into the absolute worst kind of foot-bomb.
In other words, I've stepped in 3 piles of oozy dog crap in the last two days.
It's a nightmare.

Sorry.
Sorry for bringing up such a rude subject.
This painting is actually in the January '08 issue of VINE LINE, and it's all about Kosuke!
I CANNOT WAIT to see Kosuke Fukudome patrolling right field for the Cubs.
I'm actually not expecting Superman, but really just sort of...Major League Competence like we haven't seen out there in awhile.
Like since...Andre Dawson maybe?
And if he hits pretty close to what's been advertised I'll be ecstatic.
(I was hoping Superman with Soriano - yeah there were the injuries, but I think there's more pressure coming to Wrigley than we think.)
So, just do well, Kosuke.

I've taken my kids to a ton of games at Wrigley, and they totally didn't get the punchline of this painting.
I said, "You know...the right field bleachers yell LEFT FIELD SUCKS and the left field bleachers yell RIGHT FIELD SUCKS."
Wyatt looks at me like I'm insane.
"Why would they do that?"
So, I guess next summer will be the Bleacher Break-In season for the kids...
And if you've never been to the bleachers, it is insane, it's really fun, and that's one of the uh, milder things you'll hear out there.

The Best Bloody Mary

Uh, it's 5 days til the biggest Bloody Mary morning of the year.
Thought I'd share my Dad's Secret Recipe, so grab a pencil.
(I realize this may be the most controversial post in the history of this blog, but to everyone who doesn't think this is the best Bloody ever...you're wrong.)
Now, the single Bloody.
Vodka.
Scott Johnson over at Jake's Pub will beg to differ, but like the Margarita, the Bloody Mary is a waste of the more expensive liquor.
Gordon's is perfect - you've probably drained your Grey Goose the night before anyway.
Grab a tall glass, fill with ice, pour in your own measure of vodka.
Then, put in 4-6 shakes of Lea & Perrins Worcestershire sauce, and 2-6 shakes (shakes, not drops) of Tabasco sauce depending on your zest quotient.
There should be a couple inches of brown liquid in the bottom of your glass.
Add a couple light shakes of Lawry's Lemon Pepper (you don't need or want celery salt with this recipe).
Either quarter a lime, or cut a lemon in half lengthwise, and cut each half into quarters to make 8 large squeezes.
Squeeze one and drop it in.
Fill the glass half way with V-8, then up to about an inch below the top (you'll need to stir and not spill) with Clamato.
Do not forget the Clamato.
Stir carefully and vigorously for at least 30 seconds.
One more shake of the Lawry's Lemon Pepper so there's a sprinkle on the surface.
That's called v-i-c-t-o-r-y, my friend.
If you must garnish try tearing off a couple cilantro leaves and lay them on top.

Now, the only thing wrong with the single Bloody Mary is even though you've stirred diligently, the ingredients haven't really had a chance to blend.
That, and...there's only one Bloody.
The best thing is to make a pitcher of mix and keep it in the fridge overnight so when all the bowl games come on you're not wasting time in the kitchen.
So, do this:
Get a big pitcher with a lid.
Give it 50 shakes of Lea & Perrins, 50 shakes of Tabasco, 10-15 good shakes of the lemon pepper.
Pour in a bottle of Clamato and that big can of v8.
DO NOT ADD LEMON OR VODKA YET (for some reason this makes it go wonky).
Stir it, shake it, whatever your pitcher will allow.
Put that in the fridge overnight.
Invite people over who like to watch football.
All you do is add ice, vodka and lemon.
Or lime.
Then, I don't think it's possible, but wouldn't it be awesome if the Fighting Illini beat Southern Cal?

Okay, last thing.
Mark Prior going to San Diego.
I still hope the guy makes his recovery and has a chance to right himself.
I think he thinks he's back by May, in which case he'll be at Wrigley May 12-14.
More likely he's back by June, and we can watch him vs the Cubs on June 2-4.
That'll be must watch tv, folks.

Pretty Nice Surprise From The Bears

Ed Suhrbur called with a ticket for me on Friday.
It was about 11 am at LAX, coming home after two back to back trips, and I really wanted to just go be with the family.
(That was the fog day, when I was supposed to get to Chi at 7 but didn't get in til 1.)
"Thanks Ed, but I can't." I said.
Who knew it would be THE ONLY FANTASTIC BEARS GAME OF THE WHOLE SEASON!
Still, even at home, such an unbelievable treat to watch the Bears just totally dismantle the Packers today.
There was a story in the TRIB this morning about Brett Favre having a little fun with the press, listing all the forgettable Bear quarterbacks he's played against over the years.
And I think that pissed off Hunter Hillenmeyer.
Cause old Brett took some pretty good licks from him today.
Not sure about the final stats, but Favre played as cold as the wind chill.
I made a turkey out back on the grill and it took a little longer than on your basic winter day.
It was cooold.
But Orton and Peterson both did well, special teams were amazing, the Bear D played like men...and when Brian Urlacher made the final interception and ran 85 untouched yards with it, I was at top volume.
So, I'll say that was a pretty nice surprise from The Bears.
Happy Holidays to you too.

New Word: "Crapdaptation"

There's this phenomenon that I noticed.
Like, when I was living with 4 other guys in an apartment in Phoenix and we were all just out of college working our first jobs, and Jerry Lyons opened the front door too hard and caused the doorknob to punch a giant hole through the living room wall.
Well, at first it was quite noticeable - a crappy eyesore.
But as the days went by and no one fixed it, we all became used to the hole and after awhile it ceased to be an eyesore but rather, just part of the living room.
In other words, we adapted to crap or...we crapdapted to the hole.
Now, you could say that after the 1908 World Series Cubs, the entire city of Chicago crapdapted to the Cub teams that followed.
But that's not what I really wanted to say.
What I wanted to say was that I've already crapdapted to this steroids thing.
My dad said, "Big deal - ballplayers have historically figured out ways to get ahead that aren't necessarily fair. Like, Ty Cobb used his metal spikes to scare hell out of anybody trying to tag him out, and I'm pretty sure he got some free passes because of it."
Curt Schilling is Un-Americanly calling out Roger Clemens to prove his (steroid) innocence or give up his Cy Young awards.
Guilty until proven innocent (I can't use the Mitchell Report as absolute fact, sorry).
But didn't Curt win his biggest victory ever (the bloody sock game) after getting a big healthy needle full of cortisone shot right in his ankle?
Would you recommend to children that they use cortisone instead of healing naturally?
Anyway, I really dislike this steroid era, but it's there and it's not going to go away with asterisks or suspensions or deletions.
It's part of baseball history.
I've crapdapted.

72 Days 'Til Spring Training

There are lots of blogs that have little counters that tell you how many days there are til Spring Training.
I use q-tips.
2 a day, in fact.
I do this thing where I take how many days until Spring Training, multiply it by two q-tips, and put them in this metal q-tip holder thingy we got at Target, and then use two a day.
Amazingly, this handy device does the count-down automatically as you use the q-tips!
If you wanted to start this today in fact, you'd take the 72 days until, times two is 144 q-tips, put em in a holder thing and start using 2 a day.
You can modify it to your own bathroom habits, like if you use four a day or two a week or whatever.
It's simple, but you must be diligent.
Now I admit, once the q-tip counter-downer is started, you won't get an exact count as much as a "feel" for how many days are left until it's pretty close.
Unless, you actually counted them.
But I like the lo-techiness of it, and it's got an added bonus as well: if you've got a Cub Buddy with ears that are...not so clean, it's a pretty awesome Holiday gift.

Poof Went Mark Prior

(FIRST, A TECH ALERT - I PUT 6 PAINTINGS IN THIS POSTING. PLS LET ME KNOW IF IT'S TOO ANNOYINGLY SLOW TO LOAD.)
Well, that was...a non-event, him leaving.
I was actually hoping old Mark would have been slightly more willing to accept ohhhh...WHATEVER KIND OF CONTRACT THE CUBS WOULD OFFER TO STAY ON THIS TEAM.
How much cash of mine went in his pocket the last couple years?
Like, well, some I bet.
I felt like he owed me, plus I wanted to see if he could ever get back to his awesome '03 self again.
Because no matter how bad he soiled the bed here, he was such a freaking STUD that year.
And I see maybe he'll become...an Astro?
Gross.
Anyway, here are a couple paintings of Mark's Cub career:

From '04:

From '05:

What Winter? We Got Kosuke Fukudome!

Used to be you could sort of depend on the Bears to make the winter less sucky.
Not so in the Winter of 2007.
This year the happy has come from the Kosuke Fukudome signing.
I'm all in the Big Good Mood.
And even though spring training is months away and I've got a shovel in my hands, I'm thinking about summer.
That's a good trick, Jim Hendry.
Thank you.

ps:
I was walking from Walgreens last weekend and there was a guy wearing a Packer hat coming my way, staring me down, and I thought, "Not that again."
Remember late 90's when perfectly normal men and women you knew and respected suddenly put on Packer hats and...switched?
God.
And poor Kyle Orton.
Whatever chance you want to call it - "big", "fair", or "no" - I just don't envy you.
The line's a wreck and the B-Team back is starting, and the defense...
Well, get out there and give 'em hell, kid.
(I think that was Paul Newman's Mom's line in "Cool Hand Luke", shortly before young Paul takes the rifle shot in the neck...)

The Mitchell Report - Sounds Like a New Gossip Show on E!

I don't know what I was expecting.
Something?
But George Mitchell - he had no legal muscle, he just got some people to talk about other people.
So what we got is a really expensive piece of gossip.
It's sort of appropriate for the party season right now, and you can lump this right in with the party you went to last night.
"Hey, I heard that Smith was making out with his assistant in front of everyone last night."
"No way. Hey did you hear that Roger Clemens took steroids?"
"Shut UP!"
"Yeah - it was on tv, some old guy was talking."
See?
Nothing happened.
Just gossip fodder.
And it's even dumber now, because I can use this stupid list any way I want.
For instance, I dislike the Rocket.
So I go, "I KNEW it - Clemens is the biggest cheater EVER."
But I like Brian Roberts (and desperately want him to be a Cub).
So I go, "Yeah well he was just...having dinner with some bad guys - he never did anything wrong."
Now, it's still different for Barry Bonds because he might have lied to the principal and if so he's gonna have to go to detention.
But this Mitchell Report?
Just gossip.
I downloaded the pdf, and it's got this gigantic table of contents and like, no pictures or anything, so I don't think I'll actually read it.
But you can.
Tell me if anything changes.

Cubs Finally Beat the Padres, sign Fukudome

Ha!
I've been waiting for an excuse to moon Steve Garvey since October 6th, 1984.
If you don't know why, go here.
That's a little negative, so let me start again.

In competition with each other over Japanese right fielder Kosuke Fukudome, the Cubs finally outbid the San Diego Padres last night and signed him to a 4-year deal.
It seems like that's like the 1st time the Cubs have beaten the Padres at anything in about 3 years, and of course I have deeper issues with the Pads related to 1984 and not limited to Steve Garvey.
(I just really really dislike the Padres...)
So, after much talk and anticipation, Kosuke is the big fish Cub GM Jim Hendry went after and caught.
I found out about it on LOHO about 11 last night - those guys are quick!
It's alot of dough, but I think Fukudome's a giant leap in outfield talent compared to last year's right fielders.
Plus, it's cool to have that global thing going on with my favorite team.
Go Cubs.