Why the Cubs MUST get Kosuke Fukudome

I should talk.
I've no idea how to pronounce his name, but who cares about me?
Now, when Ron Santo has to pronounce it, that'll be special.
Mothers covering children's ears, giant FCC fines for WGN, coverage on Howard Stern...

I won't go into a bunch of stats, but in Japan Fukudome's career on-base percentage is .397.
Alfonso Soriano's is .327.
So Fukudome is good at the plate, and he plays right field - supposed to be good out there too.
All things considered, he might be the best thing the Cubs could do in the outfield this year.
But like I said, the Santo thing - that's the real reason to get him.