Cubby-Blue

Cub Fans, This Cardinal Series Equals a Packer Game

Maybe not exactly in terms of volume of games per sport, but for the Cubs this 4 game series with the Cardinals is worth exactly one Packer game as far as credibility, mojo, and my continued faith in peanuts and Cracker Jack.

By the All-Star break, I figured I'd be worrying about the Cubs being too far in front and maybe getting lax in the second half or something.

Hasn't quite worked out that way.

If the Cubs can somehow pull out 3 of 4 or better, well - life could get back to good.

When the Bears are about to play, I don't think about anything but can they please kick ass.

When somebody calls to make a bet, I always bet straight up because I'm stupid like that.

Win.

Or lose.

And that's it.

So, I'm not gonna think about stats or records, broken toes, obliques or Gatorade coolers, or NOTHIN' that's not physically playing on Wrigley Field this weekend.

On Sunday night they'll raise a white flag and it better have a W on it.

It's not the whole season at stake, but in terms of emotional weight?

It's a Packer game.

How fast is Reed Johnson?

When you're a young guy, hair that grows in places other than your head is pretty important.

It means...you're a man.

In the summer before 6th grade I got a single black hair on my shin.

At baseball practice this kid goes, "Maaaaaan. A black hair! I think that means you got...sperm."

I go, "What's sperm?"

"You idiot," he says, "where you think babies come from?"

Another kid says, "Men have it."

I didn't know what the hell they were talking about, but that's when I first started to really wish I had... hair.

I was a freshman in football this one time when a guy named Paul Holland completely ran me over in a tackling drill.

One of the coaches screams, "SOUERS, YOU AIN'T GOT NO HAIR ON YOUR ASS!"

See?

Hair means huevos, balls, intestinal fortitude.

In college I decided to grow sideburns.

Why not?

Grew 'em for about 3 weeks.

Wellll, on one side I had to painstakingly and artfully blend hair from my head to mix with all of maybe 14 actual sideburn hairs.

And all that blending was for naught because only 5 actual sideburn hairs grew on the other side.

Bald patch between the head hair and the 5 sideburn hairs - not good.

I cannot grow a mustache or a beard, I have no hair on my chest, and my leg hair kinda petered out in 6th grade.

Reed Johnson seems to be able to grow beards at will and overnight.

I am SO jealous.

But you never know - I may still be maturing.

Well, that hopefully took your mind off of Geovany Soto's "mild" oblique strain and the sloppy, rotten, foul-tasting 1-4 loss to the Braves yesterday.

Kevin Hart came up to take Dempster's place in the rotation.

He did okay, really.

Buncha walks, but okay.

It's these damned wimpy Cub bats.

They have no hair.

And here come the Cardinals...

A little perspective - the Phillies lead the NL with 432 runs scored, St. Louis is 6th with 377, and our favorite team is 15th with 337.

I'm sure you're aware that that's 15th out of 16.

So...not so good.

I'd put a little hair tonic on those bats, boys.

Do that thing where everybody on the team grows a beard or something.

You are going to need to score some runs in these next 4 games.

And if you do, you will have a chance to knock these guys down a peg.

And even though I don't, as a Cub fan I would at least feel like I had some hair on my ass.

This illustration is in the current issue of VINE LINE.

Ryan Dempster Broke His Toe And That Done Broke My Heart

Oh for Baseball God's sake.

A broken toe?

A broken toe.

Ryan Dempster jumped over the dugout fence and musta slipped somehow.

Broke his toe.

This broken toe will turn out to be this year's Kerry Wood finger blister: it'll last waaay longer than we think it should.

For a pitcher, this is a pretty significant injury.

It's his right toe - the one he pushes off on when he throws.

On the other hand if you're Ryan, the rest of you - the shoulder, the arm, the elbow - that all feels good.

You'll be going slowly insane sitting on the bench waiting for it to heal.

I don't have time to read all the papers, but the headline already says he may miss a month, and my guess is maybe longer.

So it's heartbreaking.

If I did have more time, I'd write a little country song titled, "Ryan Dempster broke his toe and that done broke my heart".

Might help me find a little humor in the situation.

But the other thing that happened yesterday was the Cubs lost to the Braves 1-2.

Not so funny.

Anyway, I hope Ryan can stay patient, and that he comes back when the Cubs are still in the thick of it and gives the team a jolt.

Don't tug on D Lee's cape.

He's been Superman lately, D Lee. 

It's been awhile for him, where you just expect good things to happen with his bat.

In the last 6 games he's got 6 homers and 14 RBIs, and most of these have been meaningful, clutch hits.

The kind we've been missing alot this year.

That brings his totals to 16 homers and 53 RBIs so far this year.

Since the broken wrist, his best was 22 homers (2007), and 90 RBIs last year.

The psychic in me boldly predicts he breaks those numbers this year.

And with the 2 run homers the last 2 games, he and Kosuke Fukudome might become the new Daily Double.

How awesome was that 2 run homer yesterday?

He cu-rushed that ball.

I felt so lucky to be in the bleachers on Sunday when he hit that sky high dinger.

I didn't get to see, but I heard there was a giant standing O for Aramis yesterday, and even if the guy's not 100%, it's fabulous to have him back in the line-up.

So the Cubs are now 2 games out in a division where 5 teams are within 3.5 games.

Crazy.

Keep the W's coming, guys.

This illustration was originally done in 2006.

Cubs 8 Brewers 2. What a beautiful day.

Man, how nice was yesterday?

Sutter got bleacher seats, and I took a bunch of pictures walking up there.

Just gorgeous out.

And it got gorgeouser when Kosuke Fukudome led off the the triple and D Lee followed with the high-rise homer.

Unfortunately, I scrammed after the Brewers batted in the 5th.

Had to catch a plane.

So I figure I was just past Bernie's walking to my car when Jake Fox hit his homer, which (I just saw the replay) looked like it went over Sutter's head.

Here's a line that rhymes: Ted Lilly gets the All-Star nod for pitching like a God.

And he really was yesterday with the 9 strikeouts and big W to take 3 of 4 from the Brewers.

Today is the return of Aramis Ramirez, Reed Johnson and Angel Guzman.

I wish they could keep all the guys who are up now because everybody's been contributing, but somebody's gonna have to go.

The Cubs climb up a notch past the Reds, and...not to look ahead or anything, but they could keep going up with the 3-gamer against the Cards starting Friday.

But first, the always annoying Atlanta Braves.

The Cubs lose momentum. Again.

Maaan, this season is driving me crazy.

Every time you think there's a little momentum building, something like yesterday happens.

Cubs 2 Brewers 11.

Rich Harden couldn't find the plate, and when he did it was dinner time for the Brewers.

Yeah, everybody has a bad day, but it would be nice if guys could choose their bad day for when they're sitting on the bench.

Or..."resting" as Lou says.

Yesterday, Lou made a significant (or at least most-talked-about-all-season) switch, moving Alfonso Soriano down to the 6 hole.

He still went 0-fer, but I hope he leaves him there for awhile just to see if he might get comfy.

By the way, I believe he's the Cubs' leading vote getter for the all-star team.

Hitting .223.

Tomorrow Aramis Ramirez and Reed Johnson come off the DL.

And that'll be nice, but I'm managing my expectations about Aramis - he's not gonna be himself for awhile yet.

And we'll be saying goodbye to...Fuld? Blanco? That new guy I never heard of before?

We'll see.

But so far this team - you feel like the bus is starting to run fine and then it hits a pothole or just sputters out.

Here's hoping Terrible Ted can be the piece Lou needs today.

Maybe Sam Fuld gets another chance to lead off...

And with a W, Lou maybe gets back behind the wheel.

Sometime during this home-stand, it would be nice to pass somebody, wouldn't it?

The Cubs lose momentum.

Fukudome's perfect throw. Suppan out.

After the game, Lou Piniella said that it was just good baseball.

Haven't heard that a whole lot this season.

With Jeff Suppan on 2nd base, Prince Fielder hit a liner.

The Cubs had the crazy Fielder switch so that Theriot is playing short center and Fontenot's in short right.

The ball went right by Carlos Zambrano's glove, past Theriot behind second, and into just right of center - Kosuke Fukudome's left.

Woulda been alot tougher if it was to Fukudome's right and he'd have had to backhand it.

But it came right into his glove and everything was moving towards home when Kosuke scooped and tossed.

There is no more exciting play than a close one at the plate.

The ball skipped once, Koyie Hill caught it and with a big sweep he tagged Suppan out.

Breathtaking.

Lots of stuff went really well yesterday - Carlos pitching like Carlos can, Heilman giving up nothin', and Gregg getting the last 6 outs. And of course man of steel nerves Jake Fox working the count like a stud to finally get the walk in the 10th and bring home the winning run.

Cubs 2 Brewers 1.

Today the Cubs with a chance to take the first 3 games in this 4 game series.

Awesome.

Go Cubs.

Look at all these Chicago Cub Kids

It's pretty astonishing to see all these kids running around, either just out of Triple A or semi-close to it, when my overall impression of the team is pretty much veteran.

David Patton, Randy Wells, Kevin Hart, Jeff Samardzija, Andres Blanco, Jake Fox, Micah Hoffpauir, Sam Fuld...and Soto's just a soph.

Alot of these guys are making the most of their cup-o-joe.

In fact, some are making a strong case for staying around.

Jake Fox, that guy is coming off as this year's ringer.

A hundred years ago when I played on the agency softball team (remind me to tell you the Jim McMahon story some time), there were ringers on every team.

Guys who got temporary jobs in the mailroom just so they could hit homers for Leo Burnett or BBDO.

(Of course, DDB Needham never did anything of the sort.)

Today, Milwaukee pitcher Seth McClung is gonna take a look at Fox and think damn, they brought in a ringer.

Sure there's all kindsa scouting reports, but still...

And yesterday Sam Fuld went all pro on us, with a double, a single, a walk and a run scored - and amazing fielding.

Randy Wells wins again - I don't want to jinx him by saying aloud what award he might be up for come the end of the year.

Hell, even Lou had a youthful moment, getting booted for the first time in forever.

Anyway, Cubs 4 Pirates uno.

And today begins a GIANT homestand with the Brewers, Braves, and Cards.

Awesome.

Now get some wins and make a move, Cubs.

This Cubs season is making me...less of a man.

Remember last season when the Cubs were kicking ass in first place, and as a Cub Fan you walked around with a big cocky strut?

Not happening this year.

In fact, just the other day my wife was saying how cute and...tiny my feet have gotten lately.

You know what tiny feet mean, right?

It means I have tiny shoes, too.

Last night in the 8th inning, everything was feeling pretty normal after Milton Bradley hit the double.

He was on 2nd and Theriot was on 3rd with nobody out.

Then Alfonso struck out and...

Shrinkage!

My beer seemed to be slipping out of my hand suddenly.

Then Kosuke struck out.

Whoa!

Had to hold my beverage with both hands.

Then the grounder from D. Lee leaving Ryan and Milton stranded.

I looked down and my feet seemed to be about 4 inches long.

There is nothing worse than losing inches.

But that's the story of this year and being a Cub Fan.

I'm somehow...smaller because my favorite team has tiny...bats.

They just don't swing like they did last year.

What would Dick Pole say?

Cubs get shut out again, zeero to 3 against the 36-41 last place Pittsburgh Pirates.